Episode 13: Finding Time to Write

In this episode, we talk about how in the world you can carve out time to write. We share our own struggles with finding time to write. The resistance that comes from wanting everything to be great the first time words hit the page. Allowing for time to play with your writing and valuing yourself on your writing journey. 

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Transcript

0:01

Welcome fellow writers to the Inspired Writer Collective podcast, your go to hub for all things writing. We're your hosts, Elizabeth and Stephanie. Whether you're a seasoned wordsmith or just dipping your quill into the ink well of creativity, we're absolutely thrilled to have you with us. Drawing from our experience in publishing diverse writing genres and the daily grind of showing up for yourself, we're here to be your writing companions. Expect insightful discussions, expert tips, and a dash of inspiration as we navigate the twists and turns of the writing journey together. So whether you're listening on your commute, during your writing session, or just relaxing at home, get ready for an immersive experience that celebrates the art and joy of writing. Hi,

Stephanie: 0:49

Hey, Elizabeth.

Elizabeth: 0:51

Hey Stephanie. How are you doing?

Stephanie: 0:54

Doing okay. A little, a little tired today, but excited for this podcast recording as always. And today, listener, we are talking about time. We all know the challenges of feeling like we have enough time. Where do we get the time? What do we do with our time? I mean, all the things around time. And so we're just gonna be chatting here. Throwing back and forth ideas that have been on our mind this past week as both of us have kind of been feeling like we're not sure, we've been showing up enough for ourselves, and we know that that's something everybody can relate to as writers. So Elizabeth, what's something you're thinking about about time?

Elizabeth: 1:42

I think for me, the struggle with like being the, you know, new-ish business owner and also this. On and off, full-time caretaker, depending on if it's my custody week or not on, and then just showing up for myself and my writing. it's this like underlying feeling of just not feeling like enough in any particular area and like I'm just letting the balls drop and like. Every single spot. But I know that that's just my deeper perception of it and not really reality. No one is telling me that I'm not doing enough except for myself and my own sort of expectations and standards. And, you know, I, I think that's something that a lot of people can probably relate to. You know, when you look at sort of the demographics within our writer's community, it's a lot of women in midlife who have kids of school age and jobs outside of their writing. And it, can be a struggle sometimes to juggle all of that. And I think that leads a lot of times to the expression of people feeling stuck. And we've had a previous podcast episode where we talked about feeling stuck in regards to what do I write or how do I start? today we wanna talk about the feeling stuck part of like, I know I should be doing this. I feel like I should be doing this, but where in the world do I carve out the time?

Stephanie: 3:10

Absolutely. I know that it can feel like such a struggle when, especially as women, we tend to take on wearing many different hats within our roles in the home, and it looks very different for everybody. But certainly when it comes to finding the time for yourself, when you have the vision of writing your book, writing your short stories, whatever it is that you wanna write, that sometimes we do feel so depleted and we're not sure that we can have a creative thought at the end of the day after navigating whatever age group it might be. You know. And so it can be very challenging and there are ways to show up in small doses. That's where if anybody's read Atomic Habits by James Clear, and I know you've read it and I've read it and we've talked about it a little bit, is what I really appreciate that he talks about with forming a habit is that you start small

Track 1: 4:14

and.

Stephanie: 4:15

I know we were talking, one idea was, if you're having to sit in the carpool line to pick up your child from school, that that's a great time. Instead of scrolling on your phone to pull out a notebook and write, or if you write on your phone, like I know a lot of people find that that is. A great way to open up that Google Doc or the Notes app or whatever, however you write to use that time. I know I was in the carpool lane the other day and I was on a time crunch, so I knew I needed to get there at least half an hour before dismissal, which sounds so ridiculous. But if you don't get there at least that far in advance, you're gonna be at the tail end of the line, out into the roadway, and it's gonna take a lot longer for pickup to happen. So that's a great time to sit there. Hopefully you're by yourself. I know sometimes if you have multiple children, there might be somebody else in the backseat from time to time, but hopefully that's time

Elizabeth: 5:22

yeah. Or at least get some ideas down or strategize your character development or some other piece for it. I've found at times in writing certain chapters of my memoir that when I'm struggling to get an idea down in words like writing them, that speaking them into like a voice memo or a talk to text feature with like a notes app, that can be really helpful. so when you're out walking the dog, which needs to be done, that might be a good time to look like the crazy person talking to themselves, but to get some ideas down and if you're already having them, you know, kind of convert into text, then it's already there for you. I find that on some topics I can. Speak more cohesively in the moment than I can write on. So that's another potential hack of being able to use some of that shoulder time. Granted, if you need that time just to like relax, we don't have to make this a productivity hack of like make all your time count for five different things. Like this is not some messed up, like let's add another layer of multitasking to our lives because I mean, that's half the problem of like the creativity blockage,

elizabeth_1_02-24-2024_111319: 6:40

right? Is that

Elizabeth: 6:40

we're just trying to multitask everything.

Stephanie: 6:42

Yeah. I think that that definitely is a great thing for everybody to take into account that if you need the space that you have in the day to take it for yourself to just breathe and have a moment of quiet without doing anything else. Absolutely take that. As we said, these are simply suggestions, things that we're trying to come up with for ourselves as we're navigating our own writing journeys and trying to figure out where we can find space and time between balancing our work in our business and then our work in our creative pursuits. And so the same for you listener. As you go through your day, there are going to be days where your energy's gonna be lower than others and honor that time that you need for more self-care rather than trying to fit everything in, because I think it's those moments trying to fit everything in we do find ourselves crashing and burning a little bit. And maybe it's those days where you just feel like, you know, you wanna burn everything down and, and say no. And, and so it's better to take a pause for yourself and allow yourself to just be, and I know I've had that those days this week. There's just been a lot going on. And I was saying before we even started recording that I feel like I haven't been showing up for myself in the ways that I should and I think that it's unfortunately in our nature sometimes to wanna beat ourselves up for things when really we're doing just fine and listener, you're doing just fine. Where you are, where you are is where you're meant to be right now and don't listen to all of those obnoxious ads that are coming through whatever social media you're on that's telling you that you need to write your book in 30 days or write it in a week, or you know, I got published in 90 days and look at me. Those are just unrealistic because if you talk to writers who have published book after book. You have to be in it for the long haul. If there's one thing that I definitely walked away with when I went to the conference I went to a few weeks ago was that it's, you have to be in it. You have to sit with it. You have to sit with moments of discomfort and be willing to work through it. Because at the end of the day, your creativity, your story does matter and it does need to be out there. And that's what we're here to encourage that and we're walking right along with you in this journey. You know we're not here sitting at the top saying this is the only way that you can do it at all. We are in it with you. We, we honor where you are in your journey.'cause we are right there with you.

Elizabeth: 9:26

Yeah, and we honor however much time it is that anyone has, you know, that's, as we look towards building our coaching programs and even as I work on building a a memoir writing course, like one of the big components is I know while there will be routine check-in points whatever point you're at, it's going to be self-paced because everybody has a different sort of life structure and time that they're able to commit. Even my time varies from season to season. My summertime because of, you know, school being out is gonna look so different in my writing practice than right now when school's in session or you know, the weeks that I have custody look different than the weeks that I don't have custody, and we understand that that's, that's gonna be different for everybody. I will say I've been really proud of myself for the consistency that I've been able to maintain with my writing because of the weekly time to write sessions, even when I don't necessarily know what I want to write, or I'm dreading what I'm gonna have to work on because of the emotional nature the story I'm having to work on try to go into it just being open to whatever I feel called to work on and letting it not necessarily be a very linear journey. For example I had therapy on Wednesday and something came up in therapy that was already a part of a story within the memoir, but because of the emotions that were surfacing, I felt like I needed to go back to that story and actually take a second look at that story and edit it sort of out of order because of these kind of recent, reevaluation or just, you know, remembering some of those moments and wanting to make sure I really captured the strong emotion of the moment.'cause when I wrote it initially it was from memory. But in looking back at it this week and editing it at it, because I had just experienced that wave of emotions and that recollection, again, I felt like I was able to pour a little bit more into that portion of the story so some of it is just riding the waves of the inspiration and what comes. And that's not gonna look super linear. I mean, I know even you, Stephanie, you've not written necessarily chapter one, then two, then three, then four.

Stephanie: 11:44

Yeah, not at all. In fact, right now I'm on, I'm starting really with chapter three and four, and I'm leaving chapters one and two behind right now because I know I'll have to come back to those later and I'm working forward from there and I've been spending a lot more time doing big mind maps for my characters and sort of putting a character's name down and then mapping out who they're connected to and what their relationships are and the relevance of those in the story. Just to remind myself of who are my characters, where is this going? You know, what is the. big message that is gonna be underlying throughout. I know that there's going to be an element of navigating grief but then also on the other side is kind of a businessy focus on sustainable practices and

Elizabeth: 12:42

hmm.

Stephanie: 12:42

both of those topics within the book and trying to figure out how I wanna weave those together. So I've been doing a lot of mind mapping just because I've haven't had as much inspiration for my writing time, which has been really helpful. Just that pen to paper visually seeing it all laid out. And then it's also helping me with the plotting point because as I mentioned before, and listener, if you've been listening to other episodes, you know that I started just sort of flying by the seat of my pants, thinking like, oh, I've got all this inspiration. I'm gonna go, and then now I've reigned myself back in.'cause I realize as influenced by my nonfiction writing that I really need structure because the lack of structure is well honestly, is somewhat of a barrier to showing up and making the time because it feels a little bit intimidating. And one of the things that came to mind for me as I was thinking about this topic for the podcast was that sometimes we think it is time that we're wrestling with, but it's really more of our own fear of showing up to the page and not having it look the way we want it to look. And I know I struggle with that so much. And so I was thinking about that. I'm like, maybe sometimes it's not that I don't have time, it's that like, Ugh, I don't want it to be messy and I don't want it to feel icky and I want it to be just right. And let's be real listener. It's not just right. And that's such an irrational thought that I know I need to move past it and I'm working on it. And so that's what came to mind for me as I was like, well, why don't I not have time? Well, because I'm wanting it to be a certain way, and it's just not that way.

Elizabeth: 14:23

I felt that viscerally, Stephanie, like, I feel called out. know, it's, it's so timely too that you bring up that concept because. We had a community member in one of our time to write sessions this week, and I said the same sort of advice to her because she wasn't sure what story she wanted to write for her memoir next. And I said, well, you know, I think you might be getting to the point where you've already written a lot of the more, like ones that you're, you know, wanting to capture the emotions of the really obvious ones. It might be time to make that outline that you've just kind of be breezed over in lieu of wanting to capture these emotional moments that you're living in right now. And, she was very resistant to it, which I, you gotta be ready for it.

elizabeth_1_02-24-2024_111319: 15:06

But

Elizabeth: 15:08

as she prepared to write a different story and she wasn't sure about how to structure it, I told her, I was like, this one may not feel like some of the others in the sense that. Because the, the other stories had a very clear purpose and a, you know, very emotionally driven. There's only essentially one way to tell it, and it's how you experienced it. Those were a little bit more like what you put in your rough draft is pretty close to what's gonna be the final version. Whereas the combination of stories that she was going to try to create some contrast between the show growth I told her you may come out of this writing session and feel like you haven't really done much with this story yet, but you just need to get some of this out on the paper. And then you can play around with the structure and play around with like what it looks like. You know, do you tell the story that comes later chronologically and then harken back to the earlier experience in order to compare it, or do you root it in the, the older timeline and then tell the newer timeline and let the reader, you know, just glean the contrast on their own, you know? So it's that same sort of thing though that you're talking about, Stephanie, where it's like sometimes we're just resistant to the fact that we know something's not going to come out exactly how we want

elizabeth_1_02-24-2024_111319: 16:31

it to

Elizabeth: 16:31

the first time, and then it feels like a waste of time, right? And when our time feels so valuable, it's like, well then I don't wanna use the precious little bit of time that I actually do have if it's not gonna feel productive on the end. Some of that is just reconciling with

elizabeth_1_02-24-2024_111319: 16:49

what is

Elizabeth: 16:49

productive and what is moving forward, and I put up a, a little sentiment or inspiration about the concept of the Lilly in our community this week and how so much of the growth happens under the water, through the muck and mud of a pond. Through the depth as it slowly makes its way to the sun. And then you see this beautiful lily effortlessly floating on top of the water. And I think it's just such a great analogy for the writing process. It, you don't get that lily every day. You know? That takes a long time. And it's so easy to look at someone's finished, product think, oh, but they're so good at that and they make that look so easy and totally brush over the amount of like toil and backtracking and detours that you go on during the writing process.

Stephanie: 17:43

Yeah, you bring up so many good points. Just thinking about the process and such great advice that you gave to the person in the time to write this week for different ways to think about approaching the memoir writing, and also understanding that there's often that resistance and that's okay. We all have our different ways that we navigate. One thing that you brought up was talking about the idea of playing with the writing in different ways. And I love that idea and I think I need to harness more of that for myself, is just thinking about the times when it's messy. That's a time to play with the language, play around with the dialogue, you know, come up with different ways to think about it as play, as opposed to, oh, you know, I'm not really wanting to show up to the page today and. it's a struggle. It's the mindset and how we approach it. And I get it because I know when I'm tired that sometimes I just, I feel like all of my faculty shut down and I just have no ability to show up with a creative thought at all. And I'll find every other thing to do except what I should be doing. I know that one thing that I used to do that I haven't done in a long time is writing myself like a inspirational post-it note to put up and to have that as a touchpoint of reminding myself of a goal that I have, or maybe it's inspirational words that I need to hear to remind myself of why I'm choosing this journey because I really do love it. And when I do sit down, and as Elizabeth mentioned, we do have our time to write sessions in the community and when I do show up for those, I open my Scribner and oh my goodness, I just absolutely like run away words on the page and I get so much accomplished and I just need to do more of that, and I need to just keep moving forward. Something else that I have a tendency to do too with my time is I think, oh, I'm not gonna finish this. I'm gonna start this again, or I'm gonna go back and I'm gonna rework this. And it's like, no, just keep moving forward. Like keep

Elizabeth: 19:56

Mm-Hmm.

Stephanie: 19:57

that next step forward. And, and that again is that resistance piece showing up that maybe I'm not writing the story I'm meant to write, but then. I feel like a little bit with fiction sometimes you don't know, even when you plot that, all of a sudden your characters are doing something that you don't expect, and then that always makes me laugh I'm writing and I'm thinking, is this that's showing up? Like, this is not what I wanted it to look like. But I think allowing for that playfulness and thinking about the time that you're choosing to write as, oh, this is a time I get to play. This is a time I get to do something for me. This is a time I get to honor something that I really love to do. And I think that's especially important if you're raising your children, or even if you're someone who's maybe raising your grandchildren, so often we can feel so drained from the energy of being around kids. And not only do I know this as a parent, but when I was a classroom teacher, I mean, I would just feel spent at the end of the day. And so I think just approaching it with a playful attitude might be a helpful way to think about it. Mm-Hmm.

Elizabeth: 21:23

but also don't judge your work. You know, like it's, it's not value. Even if that value is purely that you showed up and you went into that creative zone mentally for that however period of time you're showing up for yourself and that's something always to be valued.

Stephanie: 21:45

Well, and I think that raises another good point, which is we're often our own worst critics. And so really like, don't listen to yourself. Let someone else put their eyes on it. Because, I feel like even with this podcast, sometimes I can be my own worst critic about myself and then with my writing, and then when I share it with someone else and they're like, wow, that was really inspirational and that was really great, or I wanna read more and I'm thinking to myself. Oh, okay. And so just that reminder too of not critiquing, but just also remembering that we're our own worst critics and we have that mean girl critic. If you're someone who follows Julia Cameron and the Artist's Way, she has a whole thing about that, about naming your inner critic and just telling them to be quiet and leave you alone and allow you the space to have your creative flow.

Elizabeth: 22:39

Mm-Hmm, exactly. So I don't know where you're at with how you are evaluating your time or whether you feel like you're doing what you need to be doing or want to be doing with your writing. if nothing else, we're here for moral support and we did just recently add an opportunity to have coffee chats with any and all of you that are interested in reaching out. Just a totally informal, casual hangout discussion chat about what you're working on. We're so curious, especially the people that we don't know personally who listen to this podcast every week. We wanna know what you're working on. We wanna know if experiencing any of these same struggles that we are it's fun to, you know, just know that you're not alone in some of these struggles. And so you'll see that link in our show description and show notes but anyways, if you're interested in talking with me or with Stephanie, we have that and we would love, love, love to be able to sit down and have a little zoom conversation.

23:47

Thank you so much for tuning in to another episode of the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. We hope you found inspiration, insights, and connection to yourself as a writer. If you enjoyed this episode, please share, subscribe, and leave us a 5 star review. Remember, the power of storytelling lies within each of us, and by supporting one another, we can make a difference. We can amplify our voices and craft narratives that resonate with the world. We're not just about words on a page. We're passionate about the craft, the process, and building a supportive community. Become a part of our community by connecting with us on social media. You can find us on Instagram and YouTube at inspired writer collective on Tik TOK at inspired writer LLC by joining our writing community online at inspired dash writer. Dash collective.mn.co and let's continue this writing journey Together, you can find links in the show notes. Until next time, fellow writers may your pens be mighty and your stories captivating. Happy writing.