Episode 59: [GUEST] The Power of Knowing Your "Why" When Writing Memoir with Julie Sedler

This week on the podcast, Elizabeth chats with Julie Sedler about her writing process and journey to publishing her memoir, ​Watch Me: Part Dare. Part Demand.​

Meet Julie: 

I’m Julie Sedler a chemical engineer by training, but a storyteller at heart. I have spent years journaling and writing down my latest inspirations on random post-it-notes. This has brought the ‘in the moment’ commentary and perspective to my books, courses, and coaching. I released my first memoir, Watch Me, in 2023 on how I transformed my life after divorce.

I learned first hand that my new life would cost me my old one.

All the ‘tuition’ I paid for the experiences of tearing down my life, rebuilding it based on my own dreams, and breaking the cycles of ingrained conditioning for what I should want and do has led me to create my courses.

I am here to help others by guiding them on their own path of self-discovery and growth.

*More available on ​my website​ or by request (julie@juliesedler.com) using discount code: writer

You can connect with Julie on social:

@Julie_Sedler_Author on Instagram 

@Julie_The_Author on TikTok

You don't want to miss hearing Julie's story. You'll be inspired as you listen to her talk about the following and more: 

• she didn't have formal training as a writer, but she had a story to tell
• journaling, especially by hand, has been an integral part of her process
• the feeling of holding her published book in her hands
• how deeply personal it is to write a memoir
• arriving at the marketing step for her book later than expected

We invite you to subscribe to our email list to be the first to know about our weekly podcast episodes, get insights into our writing lives, and learn about upcoming programs for writers!

If you prefer video versions of the podcast or want to leave a comment on this specific episode, you can find all of them on our YouTube channel.

We hope you've found guidance and inspiration for your own writing.

Here are two resources for you:

Get your list of 4 Essential Reads for Memoir Writers

Get your Character Coffee Chat Guide for Character Development

Transcript

Stephanie: 0:00

Hello, listener. Welcome to this week's guest episode of the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. This is Stephanie jumping in for a quick moment before this week's episode to give a special shout out to Lillian from New York, who reached out to us about last week's episode saying, great episode and just what I need, but I don't see the link for the 90 day goal setting course. We apologize for this oversight and you or any other listeners should be able to now find the link the show notes for episode 58. Thank you for listening. And now on to today's guest episode.

Elizabeth: 0:35

Welcome back listener. I am your host of the Inspired Writer Collective podcast, Elizabeth, and I am here today with a new guest. This is Julie Sedler. She is a writer and a mom. She's also, uh, got all kinds of creative backgrounds and sciency brain. Um, but one of the reasons I wanted to have her as a guest is because she released her memoir, Watch Me, in 2023 and then had a baby and did not have time to market the book in the way that she would want to. Um, but she has such a great story that went into the process of herself, exploring herself, going on this long journey with, uh, divorce and rebuilding her life. so she has a lot to speak about that process, and that's something that I know you listeners are really interested in and how I would go from journaling to a finished product and all the emotions and things that might happen in between. So, uh, Julie, welcome to the podcast. We're so honored to have you and just, I don't know, start wherever feels natural for you, but tell us a little bit about you, about what brought you to want to write this story. of that.

Julie Sedler: 1:57

Oh, thank you so much, first of all, for having me as the guest. This is one of my very favorite things to do is to be a guest on other people's podcasts. Um, so just thank you so much because it brings me a lot of joy to be here. Um, and then like, we can, we can get started. Um, I think the best place to start is that I have not. always been a writer. And I think that that is something that a lot of people can relate to, especially people who walk this journey that I have, where, um, you have experiences in your life that you feel are stories that really need to be shared, and then you become a writer, and you sort of become compelled to share those stories. So that is exactly What happened to me? Um, so I love this, uh, sciencey brain. I might have to add that to my business card. Um, so I am actually by training a chemical engineer and I've got a background in, um, HR and, uh, like, like business consulting. So I have like all of these things that I have worked on in my professional career over the last 20 odd years. And writer is not, is not one of those until recently. Um, so you asked like what inspired me to, to write my book and to publish my book. And, um, it was kind of less an inspiration and more like be, feeling compelled. Um, I had this like innate sense that like this is what I'm supposed to do. In fact, um, I had, I had like dabbled at like writing, like I had like started a blog in the early aughts, like so many other people. I don't know, maybe you can still find it on the internet. I am sure it probably exists

Elizabeth: 3:54

one I deleted.

Julie Sedler: 3:55

the cache somewhere. Um, and It was always like, my mom used to tell me when I was growing up like, oh you should write what you know, because those are the most authentic stories. And I've always been a storyteller, I just wasn't the kind of person who wrote it. And in fact, we talked about this before, I was afraid. Like, I was afraid that if I put pen to paper, like, the real stuff would come out, and I had no idea how to confront that part of me. And so, for a long time, I kind of avoided all of those things, and then, um, I got to a point in, in my marriage, in my relationship to my then husband, where it was just increasingly apparent this relationship is not going to work. This marriage is not going to work. The next step is to dissolve this person. you know, partnership and to, to get a divorce and to move into being a single parent and configuring out what life looks like on my own. And that was terrifying because I really hadn't been alone. Maybe ever. And, um, I started to, you know, form friendships and connections. I had this one friendship, and I talk about this in, in the book, where this friend who was kind of experiencing the same things as me, she was like, Why aren't you journaling? And I was like, no, hard no. We're not going there. That's not gonna come out. Like I am so unprepared to deal with that. And the more that I would share with her the experiences that I was having, the more she would be like, Why aren't you writing this down? And eventually it was like enough, like sort of like, I want to use the word magical, but really it was more like spiritually aligned, like things that seemed like synchronicities, things that seemed like, this is like telling me that I'm going in the right direction. More and more things started happening. And I was like, in my mind, I could be a little bit removed, a little bit more of a conscious observer. And I was like, this is too cool of a story to not write down, to not like get the details of it, because the way that this is unfolding is just so incredible. It's just so magical. It's just so meant for you. You're going the right way. How could you not do that? And so I eventually then did, um, Overcome that fear and I started journaling and I have never looked back. So I journal every single day now and those words then Go into go into my books So I kind of look at it as there is an roi on this because eventually this is going to be something that I release um, but

Elizabeth: 6:50

I'm that friend. I'm that one that's like, Why aren't you journaling about it? You should journal. How about you try journaling?

Julie Sedler: 6:57

Journaling is incredible in just, I mean, like you do not need to, you do not need to monetize your own healing. Let me just put it that way. Um, because it's incredible in its own right. But for me, it became the tool that I could use to then go back and like put, get my writing down. So when it came to actually moving myself to create this first draft, I started by straight up transcribing. My journals,'cause I write by hand. I write in an actual journal. I cannot move myself as a, as an older millennial,

Elizabeth: 7:35

my journal.

Julie Sedler: 7:36

as an older millennial, I need the paper. I just cannot move to the digital space. I want that mind, body, spirit connection. I want it to flow through me. No disrespect to people who are journaling in a digital space. It's just not for me. Um, it would probably make my life a lot easier if I journaled in a digital space.

Elizabeth: 7:56

about the impact of handwriting and the connection to the heart.

Julie Sedler: 7:59

is there is I'm doing it my way because it feels good for me But I'm not dissing on people who are doing it in the way that works for them Let's just put it that way, but that is what really got me started that's what got me my first draft and I had like a like Obviously, I do not have Training. I didn't really know you what's the first draft supposed to look like and I I I wasn't even thinking about like querying an agent or whether or not I was going to self publish or like what avenue I was, I was just like, okay, just one thing at a time, focus on getting these words on the page. And, uh, I was actually thinking about this concept today that, um, When you don't have that, that basic training, right? Like I, I am not a trained writer. I don't know what those building blocks are, what that first principle is like. So first we're going to start with a rough draft, right? Uh, I had to figure that out by trial and error. I had to like, Piece together what that looked like for me. And then I was kind of like relating, like other people who don't know engineering aren't going to know that, like, we start with a mass and energy balance, like, that's like the basics of what we're doing when we're looking at a system, like, where's this coming from and where's this going? And so I want to be clear for like the people who are listening to this and are maybe like resonating with my story. Like, Oh, I don't have this training either.

Elizabeth: 9:32

Mm

Julie Sedler: 9:32

That's okay. You most certainly can figure out what these basic starting blocks are. If I can do it, you can do it. Um, it, there's a fear there.

Elizabeth: 9:43

argue it's to our benefit to not know because if we knew at the onset how much work it would take to like, go from concept, idea, all the writing time, the editing, the book cover design, we might not have even tried. But as long as you get at least a little bit far enough into it where you get that sense of inspiration of like, this story has to go out, then you can overcome all that, those

Julie Sedler: 10:06

That is real. That was like the only thing that I, I continually said throughout the process to anyone who was like in my inner circle. I was like, it would be so much easier for me to just quit. It would be so much easier for me to just say sunk cost fallacy all the time and effort that I have put into this project. so much. Up to this point is not worth all of the effort that I still have yet to put into it. But honestly, being at the end now, being, being at the finish line. And by that, I mean, my book is published. I can go on Amazon. I can order a copy. I can hold it in my hand. In fact, I have one here behind me. Right. So like, I can like, I can like hug this. I can like hold it next to my body. And it's like, got a picture of my face on the cover. And I'm like, Oh, that's me. Um, worth it. 110 percent worth it. And there's, um, so I actually, you mentioned this before, but I hit publish on this book, um, just a couple of days before, uh, I gave birth to my third kid. And so I joked with my husband that I needed to birth this baby being my book. But Before I birthed my human baby because I knew how much work was going to go into my human baby and that I would have less time to go into my creative baby. Uh, and I'm really glad that I did that.

Elizabeth: 11:29

a second husband. So she got the divorce, and then this is a new relationship with a baby, and all of that.

Julie Sedler: 11:36

Yes. Yeah. For people who are, are not intimately familiar with my story, which if you read the book, you would become intimately familiar with my story. Um, sometimes that happens in life where you just kind of start again. You just kind of pick yourself back up. You know, you work your way all around the monopoly board, you get back to go, you collect 200 and you just start again. Um, it's like that. It's like that. And, uh, so yeah, so I have two kids from my previous marriage and now I have a kid from my current marriage and it's been a roller coaster, but that's what life is and that's okay. Um, but yeah, I. It would have been a lot easier to, to quit, but it wouldn't have been as fulfilling to get to the end, right? Like it, it was super fulfilling. It felt like, I mean, it did for lack of a better metaphor, it felt like I was giving birth to this creative project and nothing is birthed without pain. Okay. I think it's really. important to be clear about that, that there's a great amount of discomfort and, and pain and, um, you know, kind of like needing to look at the, at the bigger picture as opposed to focusing on the minute details, uh, that come with a project like this, like publishing a book, especially a memoir, right? Because a memoir is so deeply personal. Any other story can be you know, really personal to the author who wrote it, but nothing is going to be quite like sharing your own lived experience, writing a memoir and sharing that vulnerable piece of you. There's just a whole other layer to it. And

Elizabeth: 13:30

that you honored where you were in life and recognized like now is not the time to try to market this book. I think so many first time authors especially get hung up on wanting to do this big marketing scheme or feeling like they have to do something when they freshly publish a book. And I love that you were able to recognize where you were in your life. and what your values were and your priorities and you were like, okay, well I'm, it's out there and it's going to continue to just be out there and now a year later you're doing a little bit more as far as like coming on podcasts and getting the word out and marketing and I just think that's such a good reminder to people that there's never a wrong time to market your book. There's never a single right time to market your book. It, it, there's, you can always market whenever you want.

Julie Sedler: 14:14

Oh, absolutely. I think if we're talking about from a marketing standpoint, uh, a book. So I'm going to talk about it from an old school marketing perspective. Uh, when I went through business school and I was studying marketing, um, you know, newspapers have a really short shelf life news story. And that's even more so now with the 24 hour news cycle, a story is up and out. And it's, it's in one ear and out the other. And we really don't give it a lot of thought, but back then magazines had a substantially longer shelf life and people would keep them around and like have them on their coffee table and like pick them back up and look through them. And so it became more evergreen content that you could count on that to, um, provide you more marketing opportunities. And I look at a book in the same way. It's going to be there whether or not you choose to do anything about it. So it, once you push it live, um, I'm assuming people who do the self publishing route, like I did, I have the opportunity to take it down or to leave it up. And so if you do nothing and you just let it sit there, then you're just letting it sit there. So you can take a break and you can come back to it. You can push it hard. You, you have a lot of flexibility and choice in how you're presenting that to the world, whether or not you're pushing it hard or you're pulling back. So like life can continue to happen and you still have an element of control over, you know, what you're doing with this art that you have created, right? Like, that's important to know that you have ownership over it and you can choose to take a step back or to take three really big steps forward and that.

Elizabeth: 16:06

Right. You could have chosen to delay publishing the book until you felt like you had time to market it, which I think is what a lot of newbies feel like they need to do, like, Oh, well, I don't have time to market it now, so I'll just hold it, you know, like you were having this big life change happen,

Julie Sedler: 16:21

It's true.

Elizabeth: 16:22

instead you published it and you got, so you got the benefit of like a year's worth of people buying it, reviews, feedback, you know, that's helpful.

Julie Sedler: 16:32

Yeah, I would say that it's kind of like any investment. The longer you wait to take action, the more time you have used up that you could have been spending. Reaping a return on your investment. So, um, I really just look at it as I felt spiritually, like this is supposed to go out, this is supposed to live in the world. I am supposed to birth it. And for me, it was right to like, get it done. And in fact, like the coaches that I were working with was working with at the time, they were like, yeah, like get it out there. Like, what are you waiting for? And for me, it was more, um, you know, I wasn't really concerned about Whether or not I had the time to market it properly. Um, I was really concerned about whether or not it was like, quote unquote, perfect, like quote unquote ready. Um, uh, so I had a lot of work to do within myself to just be like, this is, this is like, uh, what's that quote from? Um, Steve jobs is real artist ship. It's time to let it go. It's time to push it out into the world. It is where it needs to be. And all I'm doing at this point is just holding back, actually putting it out in the world. And so that's what I bumped up against. And I know that there are people out there. Where, you know, they might say like, Oh, I don't have time to market it. But really the underlying thing is that real art is shit. We're gonna put it out there. We're gonna put it out there and let it be in the world and stand in our own creative process and show our art to the world, right? Like, this is what I have birthed into the world.

Elizabeth: 18:21

Yeah, and you shared with me a little bit about some of the early feedback that you got from your memoir. And, um, I mean, a lot of the listeners that they're regular listeners know that like your story is very similar to mine, so they can probably see why I was drawn to having you as a guest. I was a forensic scientist for 10 years, and then I became a stay at home mom,

Julie Sedler: 18:44

Yep.

Elizabeth: 18:45

then my relationship hit the rocks. I got a divorce. I've since, you know, rebuilt my life, done the whole writing thing that's come into it, started the podcast, have a new love in my life. And so I very much relate to your story. And it was this piece that I hope you'll share next about like the emails that you got back from people who had read your book that really validated like my deep, deep motivation for continuing to push myself to. out the time to write even though now it's harder because I've got a part time job that occupies a lot more of my time and it's just not as easy as it once was but I'm so I want that outcome and so I was wondering if you would share a little bit about that feedback.

Julie Sedler: 19:33

absolutely. So when I started writing the book, and honestly, this is true. I put this in my courses and I tell this to the people that I work with, you need to have a why, like what is your underlying motivation for doing this? Because when things get hard, you're going to need to tune back into why am I doing this? Why am I putting my effort here? Especially Once you're a mom and you have responsibilities or like, like the older you get, like life just piles like more and more on. So it feels like you need that motivation to be really clear because you're going to have to prioritize your time, right? Like, why am I prioritizing doing this thing over these five other things right now? And. One of the things that I told myself was that if this even helps one person feel less alone in their journey, because I felt. Really, really alone, which is shocking considering the statistics of divorce in this country. And it even feels like right now, like we're on the precipice even of more people coming to the realization that their partnerships and their marriages aren't serving them. And like kind of like a big, um, a big crack, like people, like division of people. Like, I feel like we're really on the precipice of that kind of coming, coming at us, um, collectively. And I felt really alone. And I know other people have felt really alone. And I just thought, okay, if this even helps one person, if only one person reads this and it makes them feel less alone, then I've succeeded. My work here is done. And, um, Once I put it out into the, into the world, like I was done, like breathing into my paper bag, hitting the button. My, my husband, he, not my, my current husband, he is amazing. He actually does like all the back end stuff for me. So he set everything up in the portal and then he was like, do you want to push the go, go live button? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, I'm like gripping his hand with one hand and like pushing the, the go live button. And I've got this huge pregnant belly in front of me. And I'm like, we're doing this. We're doing this. And. After that happened, um, there's like a little delay on that. So even though you've hit go live, it doesn't truly go live for like a day or two. But then I started getting notifications that people were buying my book. And I was like, then it was like another, like breathing into the paper bag moment. And then I started to get. The feedback from people, and so whether it came in a text message or an email or a DM through a social channel, um, The general, the general consensus was this book is really compelling. I couldn't put it down. I had to know what happened. I'm so happy that you like found yourself in all of this, like you got to a place where, you know, you felt really good. It gives me a lot of hope that that can happen for me, but my personal favorites are Your Book Saved Me. It inspired me to weave a relationship that really wasn't serving me. I've had a couple of those now. I've had a couple of people come back and say, Your book really resonated with me. I had very similar experiences right down to having that sort of emotional affair with my co worker, um, to kind of like help me like emotionally disentangle from my relationship at home and like make it a little bit easier on myself to move on. But then it became harder because now I've got multiple things going on and not to like. Spoiler, give anything away. Um, But then I've also had people come back now and say, I resonated so much with your book. I have other friends who are going through the same thing. Can I get a copy for them? I'm so excited for them to read your book. We're going to make a book club. So I have book club questions that I send out to people who

Elizabeth: 23:53

mm

Julie Sedler: 23:54

out to me. It's like, like things I curated with my editor. Actually to like, like for, for like those people who like want like for deeper understanding, right? So these are like thought provoking like journaling questions that can help you like find deeper meaning for yourself. Um, so like I send those out as like bonuses for people who who write in and Want to do more but those are becoming my favorite the whole I have this other friend And they're going through the same thing and I'm getting them a copy of your book and then they come back and they're like I got I found your book from a friend of a friend or they bought me a copy and now I can't put it down and I need to know more and so it's just It's opened my connection to sometimes people in my community, sometimes people I don't even know, uh, in such a new way that the connection of, like, how can we support one another through what is increasingly becoming a more common experience, right? We're talking about a divorce rate of like 50 percent for first marriages in this country, and then it's like even higher for subsequent marriages, especially if people don't

Elizabeth: 25:15

hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm

Julie Sedler: 25:16

Work on themselves or work on their relation, relationship, skillset.

Elizabeth: 25:20

hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm hmm, mm

Julie Sedler: 25:21

Um, the statistic is even more staggering for future relationships. So you'll find in this book that I was like really worried about that. Like, okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna work on myself because I want my next relationship to be something that is healthy and has staying power, right? I don't wanna find myself being on the bitter end of that statistic. And. It's just, uh, so incredible to find community. Like it's kind of a sad, a sad circumstance, but I really love that we get to build a community and we get to be supportive of one another because I didn't want to feel as alone as I felt in that experience. So I feel like I get to kind of be that person who provides that space for people. And that makes me feel, um, like I'm living my life's purpose.

Elizabeth: 26:11

It's so hard when you're going through like a divorce and whatnot, especially if, you know, you had a kind of longer marriage. If, you know, if you hadn't always clued in friends or family members as to what was actually going on, like at home, um, I found it to be extremely lonely. I didn't know any, like, I didn't have any family members that had been divorced. I didn't have any close friends I could turn to that had been divorced. And those that I knew of that I had seen through like the change of the Facebook post kind of thing go through it. They like, everyone kept it so quiet. It just seemed like the kind of thing no one wanted to talk about.

Julie Sedler: 26:49

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 26:49

so I found it very difficult, you know, to find any sort of guidance or connection. And funny enough, the title, working title of my memoir is Lonely Girl. And so that the aspect of, of being lonely,

Julie Sedler: 27:03

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 27:04

encompasses all, you know, much larger portion of my life than just, just my marriage. But, um, Yeah, you know, it is really isolating experience and I feel like there's a lot of judgment around it and then follow up questions that like I just didn't have the answer to. So like to even talk to somebody and then the mask may What are you going to do for work now that, you know, you're a stay at home mom and you're getting divorced? I don't know.

Julie Sedler: 27:29

Yep.

Elizabeth: 27:29

are you, what's the custody schedule going to look like? I don't know. How are you guys going to do holidays? Do you think you'll get along? Do you think, you know,

Julie Sedler: 27:34

Yep.

Elizabeth: 27:35

don't know. I'm just, I don't know. I'm figuring this out as I go and I have no idea what I'm doing and I'm just trying to keep my head up, you know? Um,

Julie Sedler: 27:42

and one of the things I love about my book is that I ask myself those same questions and you are privy to reading that inner dialogue. Along with the rest of the story. So I mean, there is like a lot of shame. So I'm the first person in my whole family to get a divorce. And I was really afraid, like, what's my, is my family going to come through and support me in this? Or am I going to be, you know, like shunned? And you can actually even read like, There's like a little element of surprise in my writing when, um, they show up for me in like a really big way in a couple of the very first chapters. And, uh, I, I hadn't clued any of them into what was happening. And so I really shocked the heck out of most of them when I, when I really get real and I'm like, I'm like down, bad crying, not at the gym. Sorry, T Swifty. I was not at the gym, but they all showed up at my house. And I was like Okay, friends, here's the real, raw scoop, here's everything that's been happening, and like, things are hitting the fan in a big way today, and of course, I, like, I think, like, I had, I had lost it at work, and um, I was not okay. And my coworker, my favorite coworker, uh, had this, the desk next to mine. And I was getting ready to leave. I'd like worked like a half day. I'd like worked in the morning. I was getting ready to leave. And they just looked at me and they were like, you're not good. What do you need? And I was like, I knew that they had a bottle of red wine in their desk. Cause like a client had like sent it to them and I was like coveting it. And it just came out of my mouth. Like I didn't like no filter. I was like, I need wine. Right now. Right. Cause like, that's how I was going to, that's how I chose to face the hard stuff that was coming through. I was like, I'm just going to like tie one on and it's just all going to come out. And they were like, didn't say a word, looked me right in the eye, one hand down to the desk drawer, open it up, took the bottle out and just handed it to me. Like without any, just like, okay, here you go. It's yours. It's yours, whatever you need. And I was like, just slipped it right into my purse and like walked out the door and I got home and like my whole family showed up and like, someone's like playing with my kids. Um, My spouse wasn't there, uh, I finally felt like I, like, had the space to, like, be safe and, like, tell everything, and I'm just, like, I have, like, a coffee mug, and it's just, you know, somebody's just, like, constantly refilling it for me, um, and it was, like, one o'clock in the afternoon, like, no shame in my wine game there, um, I'm not, I, I mean, I, I was consciously making Better choices around alcohol, but in that particular moment, I'm like, this is how I'm addressing this today And no one said anything to me. Everyone was just so supportive and like, okay, we're gonna get through this We're gonna figure this out and I was like we can do that. We can figure it out and they're like, yeah Yeah, we're gonna we're gonna figure it out.

Elizabeth: 30:53

and the beauty of you going through that journey and then writing about it in your memoir, kind of creating a roadmap for other people is that now you've turned that in to online courses, right? So

Julie Sedler: 31:05

Yeah Yes

Elizabeth: 31:09

Here's what I would like to see for my future. Is that even possible? How do I get there? Helping remove all of that, like, doubt in that.

Julie Sedler: 31:17

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 31:18

negative, like self talk and feeling empowered. I think you use the phrase self leadership on your website,

Julie Sedler: 31:24

I do.

Elizabeth: 31:24

things like that.

Julie Sedler: 31:26

Yeah, actually, I've, this has been the hardest year for me, uh, at 12 weeks postpartum. I bought a new house and decided to move with a 12 week old baby. Um, I also returned back to work to my nine to five at the same time. Um, so it's just been like stuff like that just thrown at me throughout this entire year. And I've gone back to my own program and was like, all right, here's the pillars. What am I doing? Where am I at? I'm taking my own advice. And that, like, I can confidently say I have come out of 2024 in a completely new space. Like, I am super excited to launch into a new year. I have a really clear vision. I know where I'm going. I know what I want. And it's because I have been. crafting and shifting the systems in my life to meet me at where I'm at to work for me. And I think a lot of people can relate to this, that, you know, we get lost in the system and then it's not working out for us. And we think there's something wrong with us. I thought there was something wrong with me. I'm not doing life, right. What's wrong with me.

Elizabeth: 32:47

I was supposed to do this, or I thought I followed the plan, you know, go get the degree, go get the good job, go do the whatever, marry, have the kid, blah blah blah. Yeah, and then all of a sudden you find yourself like at this dead end road and you're like, oh, I must've, I must've made a wrong turn somewhere.

Julie Sedler: 33:02

And you come back to the beginning and you're at go and you're like, okay, I'm supposed to collect my 200 and then go around the board again. So if I go around the board again, am I going to do it all exactly the same, or is there a different strategy so that I can make the system work for me? So I'm all about empowering people to figure out what it is that works for them because the problem isn't you. The problem is the tools or the systems that you're using are either not aligned to where you want to go. or are not supporting you in the way that you want or need to be supported. So my programs are focused on that, helping, uh, people figure out what they want, how to get what they want, how to help them through navigating. Like that term by turn GPS to get you to that end destination of where you want to go. And it's all based on my own experience. Um, and of course, you know, I've got that engineering background so it's very process focused. How are we actually going to do this? Because I feel like, you know, I've been in, you know, In courses before and they are giving it, they're hitting me with a lot of high level concepts, but I don't have any actionable steps that I can take. And so that's what I wanted. I wanted. Okay, do this, use this. This is a, this is a loose framework. See how you can, you know, fit in what works for you. Take what resonates and leave what doesn't.

Elizabeth: 34:38

And Julie, you have a special offer for our listeners today regarding those

Julie Sedler: 34:42

Yeah, so I am happy if someone wants to jump into anything on my website, I'm happy to add a one on one session to them, uh, at no extra cost. So, um, I will set up The offer and I will send you the code word. You can put it in the show notes. And if they pop in that code code word, um, when they check out, then that'll bundle a session, um, with their, with their purchase. Or if you want, um, to create something custom, feel free to email me and say, you know, mentioned this, um, this podcast and we'll put together something special just for you because what I've come to realize is that, you know, everyone has their own unique need and um, that one size fits all really doesn't fit anyone.

Elizabeth: 35:41

Beautiful. Julie, thank you so much for being here on the podcast today. Thank you for being vulnerable and willing to share your story, both in the initial writing of it, and also in just the sharing of the process that you've done with us today. Um, any, like, final thoughts? inspiration or word of wisdom or, um, motivation for someone who may have been in an earlier version of your shoes and struggling or not sure about journaling or the writing process that you could leave us with?

Julie Sedler: 36:11

Oh yeah. I hate to be cliche, but let's put the words on the page. There's so much that you can do after the words are on the page that um, that it doesn't, not everything that comes out the first time is going to be gold. And I'm bumping up against this. You know, I'm writing my, I'm in the middle of writing my second book now, and that's, what's flowing through my mind is just get the words on the page. You will clean this up later. You've got an amazing editing team. That will come through and fix the Huxford comma and take care of the correct capitalization. My husband is actually very, very good at that. I'm very lucky to have him. Um, but really the gold is whatever's inside of you, whatever that idea is, whatever that nugget is that feels like it needs to be birthed into the world. That's the important thing to get down on the page. Everything else can, can get cleaned up in another. There's always, you're always going to be working on another draft. There's always going to be a revision and all of that comes later. But what has to come first is, is your raw idea just has to,

Elizabeth: 37:33

hmm.

Julie Sedler: 37:33

yeah. Get it down on the page.

Elizabeth: 37:36

through journaling even before you're ready or ever consider writing a book. Like,

Julie Sedler: 37:40

Yep.

Elizabeth: 37:40

what you're feeling today. Write down how you felt about that thing that happened last week. Just write it down.

Julie Sedler: 37:45

Oh,

Elizabeth: 37:45

Just write it down.

Julie Sedler: 37:46

absolutely. Absolutely. Yeah. Um, your journal is like your safe space where you get to just like unfiltered. Um, I do kind of like have this thought in the back of my mind every once in a while where I'm like, Oh my gosh, if someone were to come and read my unhinged real raw thoughts, Um, there's a good thing. There's an editing process, right? Uh, you know, we might have a little bit of a problem. And then sometimes I read back my own stuff and I'm like, Wow, you could really clean up your self talk a little bit. Jules, like we could, we could, we could do some deeper work on that. We could be, um, as nice to ourself as we are to, you know, all the people around us in our lives. So, um, I'm certainly not immune to doing the work Just like anyone else. In fact, I, I do. That's what keeps me going, but you just, yeah, everyone has to start somewhere. It doesn't matter if you're Stephen King or if you're, you know, me with zero experience, everybody starts by putting words on the page. That's just, that's the basics. So if you are also not a trained writer like me, there you go. That's the lesson today. Put some words on the page. That's, that's the first step.

Elizabeth: 39:03

All right, well you heard it here listener, we're so glad you got to watch this episode thank you again Julie for being here with us and Listener we'll see you next week