Episode 65: [GUEST] Journaling to Empower Women's Voices with Jenny Benitez

In this week's episode, Elizabeth chats with Jenny Benitez about the benefits of creating her podcast and discovering journaling for mental health and self-discovery. Elizabeth and Jenny share a passion for amplifying women's voices. Their conversation focuses on the transformative power of writing and journaling in women's lives. Jenny shares how she got started podcasting.With her podcast, she's created a space for women to share their stories and feel valued.
You can get the guide she created ​here​.
Journaling is transformative because, like meditation, it brings you into the present moment. Jenny discusses how journaling became both a stress reliever and a spiritual practice that helped her navigate career challenges and financial difficulties. She discovered through her daily writing practices that her life started to change for the better, and while it might sound "woo-woo," it's been incredibly beneficial to her life. Writing can be important to document life experiences not just for personal growth but as a legacy for future generations. Yesterday, Elizabeth was featured on Jenny's podcast, Steel Roses. Elizabeth shares her story about how writing saved her life. You can listen ​here​.

Who is Jenny Benitez?

Excerpt from: ​https://womensjournal.com/empowering-women-through-authenticity-the-story-of-steel-roses-women/ ​

Jenny Benitez, the founder of Steel Roses Women, embarked on a mission to empower women to embrace their authenticity. With over 17 years of experience in communications and a deep passion for women’s healthcare, she has dedicated her life to fostering a supportive and engaged community where women can thrive. Jenny’s work is built upon her desire to uplift women, encourage personal growth, and provide tools like meditation, manifestation, and affirmations to help women lead fulfilled, empowered lives. The Steel Roses Podcast, one of her flagship projects, addresses the challenges that many women face but may not openly discuss. Through her podcast, Jenny hopes to spark dialogue and inspire women to break their silence and reclaim their power. 

Connect with Jenny: 

Website

LinkedIn​

Instagram

Facebook

We invite you to subscribe to our email list to be the first to know about our weekly podcast episodes, get insights into our writing lives, and learn about upcoming programs for writers!

If you prefer video versions of the podcast or want to leave a comment on this specific episode, you can find all of them on our YouTube channel.

We hope you've found guidance and inspiration for your own writing.

Here are two resources for you:

Get your list of 4 Essential Reads for Memoir Writers

Get your Character Coffee Chat Guide for Character Development

Transcript

Elizabeth: 0:00

Welcome to the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. We're your hosts, Elizabeth and Stephanie book coaches who help you finish your book. Tune in each week as we dig into the writing process, including reaching your goals and silencing your inner critic. You'll learn how to deepen your characters, hone your authentic storytelling style, and strengthen your writing muscles by exploring books in and out of your own genre. You'll also hear from published authors, industry experts, and marketing specialists who will give you tools to navigate this. Self-publishing landscape. We are here to provide the support and accountability you need throughout the marathon of writing so you stop running in place, editing the same chapter over and over, and find the confidence to move forward. Get your copy of a curated list of four essential craft books to assist your memoir writing or a character coffee chat for fiction writers through the links in the show notes, let's bring your book to life together. Welcome back listeners to the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. Today I'm joined by Jenny Benitez and I am honored that we get to be the first podcast where she's appearing as a guest. She has her own podcast. I. Called steal roses, and if you're coming here from there, welcome Jenny's listeners. I have just recorded an episode as a guest on her podcast. So we're doing a bit of a podcast swap because we have some similar overlap as far as wanting to empower women to embrace their authentic messages creating space for women to show up in the world and share their stories. So Jenny comes with a background in communications and. she is providing that, bringing that structure to her podcast environment and is in season season three of her podcast. So Jenny, welcome to the Inspired Writer Collective.

Jenny Benitez: 1:53

Thank you, Elizabeth, for having me. I'm, I'm actually, I'm so excited about this. I said it on our recording. I'm like, you're, you're such a light. My, my daughter noticed it immediately. She's only seven and she picked up on it. So I'm, I'm excited to be here. And yes, I thought it was very like a fun little tidbit that this is my first time being a guest anywhere.

Elizabeth: 2:12

That's so amazing. I remember that conversation we had where we did sort of our, you know, mutual interest meeting. Um, I think, did I find you on Threads or Instagram

Jenny Benitez: 2:22

I dunno how we found each other. It was obviously meant to be.

Elizabeth: 2:26

Yeah, because we, as soon as we hopped on that video together in sort of our interest call that we do with all of our guests before we ever record, like you and I, we just vibed. I mean, normally I spend like 30 minutes on one of those, and I think we were getting close to like

Jenny Benitez: 2:39

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 2:40

or so. you know, we were talking about our shared interest in writing and journaling and the impact that that's had on our mental health and just our insights for ourself. And then we got into like the background of like being a podcast host and what that's like to sort of be that representative to share your voice and create space for other people. And we were just so unified in our like, broader. I guess goal or passion for creating space, particularly for women to share their voices and fostering that. And so I just instantly felt resonance with you. You've already sent a couple of guests to the Inspired Writer Collective, which some we've already interviewed. The other ones will be coming up soon. Um, so I just love the connection that we've made and it speaks to the power of podcasting and writing and community that like you can find such like-minded people and then. Instantly connect with them and it can have such an impact. So thank you. Thank you for joining us over here. I can't wait to see where our discussion goes today.

Jenny Benitez: 3:44

Uh, well, I, I'm, I'm thrilled to be, be on here with you and to just really be talking from, from a guest perspective, because as you said, like podcasting itself, I'm always, you know, from the interviewer side wanting to make sure that like I have my guest and that I'm making sure they're the highlight of the episode. So to have the flip, I'm like, oh.

Elizabeth: 4:09

It is so fun.

Jenny Benitez: 4:10

It's, it's cool. I like it. The pressure's not on me anymore now, so I feel a little relieved.

Elizabeth: 4:16

Well, I do hope the listeners here go back and listen to that episode. So if you're just finding us here, please go back because I think I shared more of my personal

Jenny Benitez: 4:24

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 4:24

on your podcast as a guest than I've ever been able to share here for that same reason, like as the host, yes, we throw in some relatable tidbits or experiences, but like, like you said, for a large part, we try to shine those, the light on our guests. We try to provide that platform for our guests, and so with that. I, I wanna hear a little bit more about your story as far as why you wanted to create the podcast and why you felt like women needed more of a

Jenny Benitez: 4:53

Sure. So the podcast itself, um. It was something that I had been organically just talking about for years. Like, I mean, it was one of those things that I just kept saying. Um, my, my cousin and I are very close, and every time we would be talking on the phone. The, ultimately we would get to a point where I was like, we can't be the only ones going through this. You know, like in our marriages with our children, with our jobs, like we can't be the only ones going through this, but no one's really talking about any of this. Like, there needs to be a better way, there needs to be a platform for this. We need to start normalizing this. And I get, I was getting frustrated'cause I would even feel it, um, amongst my female peers, other mothers at the, you know, pick up and drop off where you would feel almost that like judgment. You know, and that like, oh, you know, just, just like that underlying tension. And I'm like, this isn't necessary. Like none of this is necessary. We're all going through the same things. And people, people, and I'm gonna drill it down to women specifically, have this need to be perfect and to show this perfection all the time and to not admit. You know, admitting that your, you know, you fight with your husband is like defeat, or your fight with your partner is defeat, or that you know you're divorced or that your kids don't listen to you like that. It reflects poorly on me. Like no one's kids listen to them. Does any, is anyone aware of that? Like nobody's children listen. So it, it sort of, kind of came from there. So there was this in the back of my mind like, oh, I want to have a platform where I can normalize for women. It's okay to be imperfect because none of us are perfect. And then I had a moment, it was a pivotal moment personally for me where, um, I work, I, I work in communications and marketing for pharmaceutical companies. I love what I do. I really do. I love it. It's been a really great career path for me. I'm, I happen to be very good at communications. Um. But I had hit this moment about two years ago. It was 20 summer of 2022, and I was put on this project that was way more than I could handle, and I had voiced that opinion and said, this is really way more than I can handle. I, I don't, I don't have capacity for this. But if you're working in corporate, you know, it doesn't matter if you don't have capacity, you're gonna get put on that project. So. I got placed on this project and the workaholic that I was was like, alright, I'm gonna double down. I'm gonna make sure that this is successful. And so for about three weeks, I didn't see my husband, I didn't see my children except for my bath time. And I got to the end of the project. I was a nervous wreck. My hand literally to the point where like my hands were shaking and I sent it off on its merry way to where I needed to go. The project was really well done. And I, it felt like I lifted my head up out of a dark place and my kids were bigger. Now, as a mom, this crushed my heart.

Elizabeth: 7:58

Yeah.

Jenny Benitez: 7:59

were little at the time. My girls were five and my son was six, and everybody just looked bigger. And I had over the past couple of weeks been watching from my office window upstairs. My husband was in the backyard with them playing. He taught them how to swim. He taught them how to go off the diving board. He was taking them to the park. He was the one who was doing all these things and making all these memories. And I was upstairs locked in an office on conference calls and. So I got to that end of that project and it was almost like fireworks had gone off in my head and I was like, this is a moment where I'm gonna have to make a decision and. Living that workaholic Corporate life is not the path that I wanna go down. It's starting to suck the life out of me. It's not inspiring me any longer because for a period of time I felt like I could still be creative, which I could. And I was still writing'cause I was, and it still felt good. And I hit this catalyst moment where I was like, this pivotal moment is telling me that I am not supposed to be. Doing this. That's soda. Don't drink that. That's soda. Sorry. Um, is that I'm not supposed to be going down this path anymore. Um, so I took that and in that same instance, it kind of popped into my head, uh, well, you talked about podcasting. Jenny, why don't you look at podcasting? And it was literally within like a few weeks period. This was like August where this happened. September I started researching it and. Getting into that creative space of, well, I'm gonna podcast, well, what is my podcast gonna be called? How, what's my target audience? And I started going down the path of like developing. What the goal of the podcast was going to be. And I started out with a partner my cousin had, was a co-host in the beginning with me. Um, she has since left the podcast and it's, it's just me running it now, um, because it really wasn't lighting her up, but it was still lighting me up. So I, I kept with it and through the podcast, I've been able to really elevate women's voices and meet people such as yourself and bring people's lives. To other women and the whole goal, the whole premise was always, I want women to have a space here. I want women to come to the, be able to come to the table and say, this is my story. Because every woman that comes has a backstory. We've all gone through something and. In our shared understanding of each other, we are making each other's lives better and improving each other's lives. And there's some guests that have come onto the podcast that I'm friends with now and that we stay in touch with each other and like, you know, if she's having, they're having a hard time with their business or they're writing or whatever they're working on, we reach out to each other and I'm like, Hey, can you, can we just chat really quick? Like, I'm feeling uninspired. I just need somebody to like chat with. And it's been this really. Fantastic like Journey because it has brought so much goodness into my life, including exploring writing again, which was like a,

Elizabeth: 11:06

I love

Jenny Benitez: 11:06

yeah.

Elizabeth: 11:08

Well, and you, I hope you know this, Jenny, and if you don't, I'm about to tell you that as a podcast host, you are a storyteller because you are curating the storyline of the episode, by the way, that you lead the guest through conversation. That the way you take something that they've said, and then you create the next, and then or, and so like that's classic storytelling, right? Where we, we take a particular. Action. And then we make it make sense with the next action that follows. And that's what we as podcast hosts are doing, especially with guests. And that's what makes a really good podcast host, someone who is able to ask the right questions, that continues that same conversation and allows it to go into unique and different. Places. So even if you weren't always writing from the beginning of podcasting, you were storytelling. And that sort of oral tradition has been around since the beginning of humankind. And I think it's so cool the way that we get to carry it forward in. Our world with our technology and our generations where, you know, it gets to happen virtually. And you and I are on opposite sides of the country, but we get to have this connection and this conversation and then other people get to hear our story and it's really cool. Um, what was it that pushed you back into writing?

Jenny Benitez: 12:31

So part of it, it's it, and when I say journey, like I really mean that like the past three years have, have literally been like the most interesting journey. So, um, that catalyst moment that I talked about where I knew like, I'm gonna go to podcasting, like this is gonna be something that I do. Um. Part, there was a whole bunch of things happening at once. So I started researching how to podcast and I came across this woman who also has a podcast, um, named Kathy Heller. And she had this episode that was like, how to podcast. So I found her out and I checked her out and then I was like, oh wait, she does like, she has like a bunch of stuff. Like what does she talk about? Her podcast was um, she wrote a book called Don't Keep Your Day Job. And the beginnings of her was really teaching women. Um, how to get empowered with themselves and find their real purpose and, and to really find like, what's lighting you up, because whatever's lighting you up is really gonna make you successful and it's actually gonna bring you a lot of wealth. So find something you're really passionate about. So I started kind of following her and then I saw that she had an online course and. Her courses were really based around, um, make putting yourself in alignment with your true purpose. Now I'm gonna use the universe as like, how, how I'm referring to this. Some people will say, God, you can say Allah, you can say whatever you can call it, whatever name you wanna call it. It's all the same thing. Um, in my opinion. Um, and for me, finding her opened up this whole pathway of. There are all these ways that you can really bring out who you really are and when you're living your authentic life and who you really are supposed to be, every door is going to open for you. There is literally no limit to what kind of success you can bring to yourself and to your friends and your family. There is no limit. There is no cap. The cap is bs. People will say, people will say, oh no, you can only get this far. It is absolutely untrue. There's a lot of misinformation out there about how to become your most successful self. And you know, people use affirmations, meditation, like you, they use it as buzzwords though, right? Like they don't necessarily know the true real steps. Of being in the moment because at its core meditation and affirmations and all of the work that you do is actually meant to bring you present in the moment. Writing brings you present into the moment. So there are a lot of ways and methods that you can use to bring your mind to the present moment. And I started using writing as one of those methods and. I did a combination of things. I do a combination of practices. This is somebody I found through Kathy Heller called, uh, the gentleman's name is Hal Elrod. Um, and he created this whole system called Savers. You can look it up. He has an app. I, I am like a huge follower of this guy. Um, and part of it is you write, you do affirmations, visualization, meditation, like, but it's a whole package thing that you're doing for yourself. And with the writing. You're using it to help center yourself for the day, but you're also using it to do a stress relief for the day. Um, in 2024 in the fall, I started journaling a lot heavier and um, I was using it as a stress reliever. And it was helping to get the thoughts out of my head that were driving me pretty much insane. Um, I was in a highly stressful situation with my job. It was incredibly unhappy. It was making me depressed. It was giving me anxiety, um, which also was like combining with the fact that I'm in my early forties, so my hormones are falling out. I'm like,

Elizabeth: 16:27

Mm-hmm.

Jenny Benitez: 16:28

things are as a woman. So the writing element. At the end of the day, and the beginning of the day was incredibly important to me because it helped me to really just hone like, okay, this is the feeling I wanna have today. There was days where I was able to write like a bunch of pages. There were some days I only wrote a paragraph and was like, you know, like, my anxiety's through the roof today. I hope I can get through, get through this. What am I gonna remember for the day? Like, write, you know, write a little affirmation to yourself. And in doing the practice, um, it's going to sound insane, but it has literally changed. My life and it brought the amount of blessings that it brought into my life. People wouldn't believe it. You, you really wouldn't believe it. And when I first started doing it, um, I. At the time I remember, um, you know, you kind of like test something out and you're like, oh, lemme see if this is actually gonna work. Like, is this nonsense?

Elizabeth: 17:25

Yeah.

Jenny Benitez: 17:25

and this is gonna sound crazy. It's gonna sound very woo woo, but when I had first started doing the writing and the meditation, everything, um, I had something coming financially that was terrifying me. Um, I owed. Back taxes from like

Elizabeth: 17:40

Hmm.

Jenny Benitez: 17:40

and, um, didn't realize that, you know, the IRS are a bunch of jerks and they were adding loads of interest onto this thing. So the bill itself was coming to around$15,000 and

Elizabeth: 17:53

Oh.

Jenny Benitez: 17:55

I had to pay it by June. Was it June, 2024? I had no idea where that money was gonna come from. I had, I, Elizabeth, when I tell you.

Elizabeth: 18:08

I wouldn't know either. I

Jenny Benitez: 18:10

I was like, I, listen, I wanna be really transparent here. I am not one of these people that just has like all this money life. We have three children, we have a house. Like this is not, I am not in one of those positions. So I had no idea where this was gonna come from, but all I knew, my belief in my core was, it will be okay. It's gonna come, it's gonna, it will find its way to be, it's gonna be fine. And I just held that belief and I kept writing every day and. I kept the meditating practices every single day and through a, it was very interesting, through a series of seemingly unconnected events, the entire amount of that back tax bill was paid in full. Not anything. It, it was a very interesting'cause once it happened and the money came through and then it was paid, and I got that notice, I was like, you have zero balance. You're fine. I was like, oh, oh, it worked. So it's, it's, it's a very important thing here that we're talking about because you're writing to tell your story in some instances. Like, I know you're a memoir writer, so I know you're telling your story. You ha every, every woman I know has a story to share. So that right there is important because you're gonna use your voice to share your story and to tell people like, I've been down this path. I've made it out the other side. You can make it out the other side too. So there's that element of writing. Then there's the stress relief of writing. Get those thoughts out of your head. If you keep it in your head, it's going to turn toxic. It's going to poison you. You do not need toxic thoughts in your head. Put it on paper, light it on fire, throw it out the window like you know, in a safe. Way, get that energy out of your system because the longer it's in you, the more it's going to poison you. Once you get all of that out and you can just start writing and it could just be nonsense. I was writing about nonsense the other day. You don't have, it doesn't have to have a point. You can just free write and you can say like, oh, I'm thinking about this, that, and the next thing. I wrote a grocery list when I was writing the other, it doesn't really matter what you're writing, but using your words to get to start that practice, I'm telling you. Doing that will change the course of your life because I've even seen it now. I told you the$15,000 story. There's more stories like that in my life that have consistently happened. One of them was recent. It was in an$8,000 story showed up and I was like, well, okay. Alright, we're here. It's important. And I want everyone listening to your podcast to understand that. Yes, there's the writing element to get a story that you wanna have published and, and that's a beautiful, beautiful work. But there's this other part of it too that is really for your soul and you're feeding your soul by writing.

Elizabeth: 21:03

Yeah, I love to like. When you're journaling and you were doing this morning and night, so like you're capping your day off by sort of grounding yourself and rooting yourself back in, right? And so even those little things that you might overlook when you're not journaling, you can actually recognize those blessings, those tiny little, you know, incremental shifts and changes as they're happening because you're journaling so frequently. So then. You're able to be grateful for those little ways in which things are shifting and changing, and then that just opens you up to then see the next layer and the next layer. I mean, it makes me wonder how much you might have overlooked or not recognized for what it was if you weren't actually writing in your journal. And I've certainly had some crazy universe things happen in my life. Um, the one that most readily comes to mind was when I found out last January that my. The, the owners of my rental unit were going to sell it and they were not going to renew my lease. And they were like, well, you can live there until it sells, but we're not gonna renew. And um, I was, did not have a job at that point. I was divorced. Um, my parents had been like helping support me financially and I'd been spending this time writing and running the business and all of a sudden I had to go find a new place to live. And my town is. Very small town and it's kind of touristy and like. Exceedingly expensive for the jobs that are actually here. Most people have remote work, um,'cause it's got this tourist element to it, so it makes it very expensive. And I was petrified about being able to find a safe space for me and my daughter and my cat to move to. And wouldn't you know that within 24 hours I had found the most amazing space that allowed me to have this office. Which was not even like on my radar. We needed a two bedroom. This was a three bedroom, um, it's right next to the bike trail and it was just absolutely the perfect fit. And I had the financial backing from my parents to help me, and it's like all of it just beautifully came together in a way. I would've never. I wished for myself 48 hours

Jenny Benitez: 23:20

Right,

Elizabeth: 23:20

if you had asked me like, Hey, would you like to move? I would've been like, hell no. I don't wanna move. I was so grateful I had gotten, been able to keep that place in the divorce and I thought I was safe for a while. And the universe had a bigger plan, right? Like it knew I needed a bigger pot to grow in.

Jenny Benitez: 23:38

Yes.

Elizabeth: 23:38

was hard for me to stay there. I was trying to run the business and record podcasts in my living

Jenny Benitez: 23:44

yeah.

Elizabeth: 23:44

my kid is trying to do something behind me. But there was just a bigger thing at work, and I think when we stay so present in our journals and we are writing about just today or just the last few days, like I hate when I get too far. You know, behind in my journal where I'm having to write multiple pages to get the last five days down, which I did over the holidays'cause they got away from me a little bit. But you know, when we can, when we have to look at what has happened that particular day, we can just see the smaller things more clearly.

Jenny Benitez: 24:18

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, on the note of the smaller things, something that I've, I've read a lot about is people, um, when they struggle with, you know, hearing stories like what I just told and what you just told. A lot of people will say like, well, you know, I, I've tried, I've tried this, it doesn't work. You know, I, I've tried to be mindful and, and, but it doesn't work and. Part of the issue is that, um, it's, it's like a small combination of baby steps that you have to do to get there, and writing is an important element to it, but. Using it in the right way. So for example, if you're hearing this and you're like, I'm gonna start this, like, it sounds like nonsense, but I'm gonna start it right? Let's do it. It's 2025. Like this is our year people. Let's do this. So what you would wanna do, you can get any old notebook, whatever, it doesn't really matter. This is. Doesn't matter really what you're using. And on a regular basis, every single day, you should jot down three things that you are grateful for. Three things that make you happy, and it couldn't be small things like. Elizabeth talked about her coffee, like, you know, it could be something really small. I found a healthy, um, you guys heard me, um, deterring my son from drinking my, my soda earlier. I found a healthy probiotic soda and I was really excited about it. So I have it sitting on my desk and he thought it was water and I was trying to get him to not, you know, I didn't want him to take it. So it's stuff like that that you can write down and just little things to be grateful for. Because I have been, Elizabeth has been in the situations, I have been in the scenarios where. You feel like it's so dark that you are not going to get out, and when is it going to get better? When is it, when is this situation going to get better For me, I can't continue my life like this. I don't wanna be a nine to five or it's miserable. I'm not getting anywhere with my career. What am I doing? My relationships are failing. What am I doing? Take the time to invest in yourself through writing. Get the journal out. I'm sure you people have loads of them, I'm sure. Like I'm not the only one who would buy them and just leave them on the bookshelf.

Elizabeth: 26:24

Or get gifted them from

Jenny Benitez: 26:25

Take the time to write a page. Take five minutes out of your day. You can't say that you don't have five minutes because if you were to take your cell phone right now and look at the amount of screen time you spend on your phone and the amount of time you spend on every app on your phone, you can absolutely find time in your day. To begin writing and to begin this practice, perhaps you have a story in you that needs to be told. There might be somebody out there going through something you already went through and you are going to change their life. Your story could change someone's, change someone else's life. It's that much of a deal. So it's incredibly important to start this and. If you start it and you start this practice of, I'm gonna be in the moment, I'm gonna center myself, you will see a shift. It is a guaranteed thing. There is science behind a lot of this that we talk about, and.

Elizabeth: 27:23

Mm-hmm.

Jenny Benitez: 27:23

It. It's an incredible thing to start employing. So I really, I know I sound like I'm on a bit of a soapbox, but I really want you all to explore this because it has made such a change in my life that I really want everyone to be doing this because this is it. Like everything's at your fingertips. You just have to go reach out and grab it.

Elizabeth: 27:42

I love that, and I know people have different opinions about looking back on their journals. I really get so much value out of looking back. I frankly didn't even look back until I started writing my memoir and I had to reference to remind myself. But it was in looking back that I got to see some old cycles that I kept repeating and could figure out how to break them. It was looking back that, you know, I could see the way that blessings would show up or that the universe was shifting me into a new path. Um, and so I really do like reflecting and looking back. And the other piece I really love about journaling and just writing in general, but this can still be accomplished from journaling, is that there is now a written sort of documentation of what I was thinking at the time. And my daughter is only five and a half. But I think when she's older, there are gonna be some points in our shared life where she's gonna be curious about, well, why did this happen? Or why was it like this? And the fact that she will have access to my journals and can see I was thinking and feeling, and why I made certain decisions that, you know, like she'll tell me all the time that being divorced is the worst thing that's ever happened to her. And I'm like. Dear girl, I hope that stays the worst thing that's

Jenny Benitez: 28:58

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 28:59

to you. And I even ended up writing in the front, like in the inside flap of one of my journals. A little note to her and I, I said, Ember, when you find this, I hope that as you read things and you know that you ultimately see that. made these choices with the best of my knowledge that I had at the time from a place of love. And you know, I, I hope that you just understand, you know, where I'm coming from and it's that piece of legacy writing that I wish we had more of because'cause memory is really fickle. And I remember when my sister and I were trying, we both became new moms within the same like. Six month time period. And I remember we were both asking my own mother, was it like? We're really struggling with this. This is really hard. And she had already painted over her memory sunshine and rainbows, and I, I can't believe that's actually how motherhood works for her, especially with three kids. So, you know, it's like, but she's already forgotten or moved on from those early days and doesn't, couldn't relate to, or. Help clue us into what we were kind of slated to go through with our whole motherhood identity shift. So there's a piece of like legacy writing that I think is incredibly beautiful if you're open to ultimately sharing your journals with your kids at some point.

Jenny Benitez: 30:29

I found, um, because of our initial conversation for Christmas, I actually, I. Um, gifted both of my parents with guided journals that, and,

Elizabeth: 30:40

yay.

Jenny Benitez: 30:40

and I said to them, I was like, you know, I don't, I don't know you as people, I know you as my parents and I would really like to know you as a person because, you know, my, my parents when they were married, um, very old school, you know, like the parents were like the parents. They were perfect. You don't question them like this, you know, and so I don't know them. Like as people and I would really like to, and then on that same stream, stream of thought, he's like, well, I want my kids to know me. I, you know, like they, they see me and they do know me. I'm pretty, I. I'm, I'm a very, um, we are very communicative here in my household, as you can tell. Like, I like to talk, my husband likes to talk. It's, it's kind of a, we talk a lot here and, um, so we're very open with the kids. We're very honest with the kids. We're very straightforward with them. I explain a lot of things to'em. I openly admit when I screw up and I'm like, that was my fault guys. I, I messed up here. Um, but I want them to really hear from me. So I actually had bought. These booklets and it's called like, um, there's, I bought two, I bought ones for my daughters and it's letters to my child and it has letters that you open up and you can write to them for different things. And I just started thinking through that. I'm like, I really want them to have this, like when they get older, to be able to open this up and hear my words and hear my story because. You know, your kids get to a certain point where they're like, oh mom, please shut up enough. You know, like, this is gonna be like, almost like a time capsule for them. And they'll get this book one day at some point and be like, wow. Like Mom, really? She, she really had all these thoughts about us and it's, that legacy piece is really important, especially in today's digital world. Everything's digital. I interviewed somebody on my podcast, um, about photos, and she was a professional photo organizer, and she said she was like, because of everything going digital, nobody has photo books anymore. Nobody has albums ever anymore.

Elizabeth: 32:39

I print them

Jenny Benitez: 32:40

I, I print, I print photos out too. I'm like, you know, they're on your phone, they're on social media, but then that's it. They get lost in.

Elizabeth: 32:49

You never look back and I'm behind. I need to do more. But I had been really diligent for probably, I'm probably a year behind.

Jenny Benitez: 32:57

I mean, even that though is pretty good though. You know what I'm saying? And there's the, the writing element of it, getting your, you know, if you were to journal and then it's something that you're gonna pass along to your children. But even like, like what I said with the guided journals that I gave to my parents, I'm like, this is important. This is your legacy. What you are doing right now is going to be impacting other people like so. Make a record of it there. Your life is important. Your life is significant, and you need to, you need to put that story in place. And even if you don't have kids, your life is significant. Kids is not the determining factor to being significant in life. You are impacting everyone around you, and it's important that your story gets told. You might think it's insignificant, but it's, it's something important to somebody.

Elizabeth: 33:42

Well, especially to your kids. It could mean something. One

Jenny Benitez: 33:44

Yes.

Elizabeth: 33:45

my grandma is 91 and. so much she can't remember, especially anything new. But just the other day I was talking to her on the phone and I was trying to like put some timeline in her, in her mind. And I was like, oh yeah, you know when the last time I was sick, you know, or when I was really sick in college and you took me to the urgent care and that was the time when your house got broken into while you had were taking me to urgent care. And she did not remember being like robbed and having all these valuables and like family heirlooms taken like. She just doesn't

Jenny Benitez: 34:16

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 34:17

you know? So like she probably wouldn't even be able to remember a lot of the stuff that, like I'd be curious about like her upbringing or when she was a new mom or a working woman, or how she navigated, you know, a number of things. It's like we just lose so many of these

Jenny Benitez: 34:35

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 34:36

if no one's writing them down. And I mean, I understand when I was younger, I mean, I did keep a journal, but I lied in my journal.

Jenny Benitez: 34:44

Yeah.

Elizabeth: 34:44

Like, I don't lie in my journals anymore'cause what's the point? But when I was a kid there was always this, this threat from my mom that like, if I ever suspect to anything, I, I am gonna come read your journal. So like my, I made sure my journal matched, you know, whatever story I was telling at the time, you know, as far as where I was or who I was hanging out with or what I was thinking. I couldn't be honest. because of this fear of who would read it ultimately. And now I just have, as an adult, I have just such a different approach of, you know, my daughter wants to read my journals, there's gonna be some stuff in there she doesn't wanna read.'cause I'm honest. And it's not like it's bad about her, but like she's not gonna wanna read some of the intimate details that I put into my

Jenny Benitez: 35:24

Right.

Elizabeth: 35:25

'cause it's my journal. But I'm not gonna sit there and, you know, lie or you know, not discuss key, you know, parts of my life or my experience. they're there. They're there for, for legacy purposes.

Jenny Benitez: 35:38

I, I think it's an, an incredible gift to be able to pass that down. And my grandmother is 96, so her and her birthday is 2025. She turned 97. I have plans to, I actually have plans to go visit her next week. Um, and while I'm with her, I was actually planning to record and. Just the conversation because

Elizabeth: 36:02

Yeah.

Jenny Benitez: 36:02

she, the, my podcast was named for her. She's, she's such a unique, significant person to myself and my family. Her name is Rose, so still Rose actually came from her and, um, she knows about the podcast. I. She's so proud of it because she, you know, she grew up in a time where, you know, women couldn't do anything without, it was illegal for women to have birth control. It was illegal for women, weren't allowed, didn't even have their own bank accounts like you weren't allowed to do, you couldn't do anything. And she is such a strong presence for all of us in our family that, you know. She inspires me to this day. You know, even now, like in her like late nineties, like she's still very sharp and she's still try, you know, doing her best and everything. And it's such an honor to have her around. And I had been thinking to myself for quite some time, like, man, I, I have this platform now. I have this podcast now. I would love to record her voice. And even if it's not an episode, like I don't care. I just wanna have that memory because I can now take. I can take this and edit it, and I can, I can pass it over to my family and say, Hey guys, like I've got this memory from Grandma Rose, like, let's, you know, we all can cherish this now. This is important. And it, it's, it's such a beautiful thing, the writing and being able to, to have this sump, this story that you could pass along to somebody else and to pass along to future generations. My, my cousin, that was my co-host. I had said to her, um, recently, I was like, you know, she's, she's adopted, she's Korean. And I told her, I was like, you know, at some point I was like, you, you and your husband having your daughter, you created a, a whole new bloodline here in the United States that didn't exist before. You now have your own bloodline that is starting to develop. And I said to her, I was like, at some point. In three or four generations, your great, great, great grandchildren are going to hear about your story and that you were adopted. And brought over to the United States. You worked her a uh, butt off to, um, become a PhD, you know, uh, teacher and you, she works, worked multiple jobs and she's, she's an incredibly smart. Humble person and I was like, your future generations are going to hear your story and be inspired by you. And she was like, why are you making me cry in the middle of the day? She was like, how would you say that? I'm like, but it's true. Like really think about what you're doing with your life. Like this isn't just you, this is a legacy that you're building. And again, like. The child factor is important to me. Obviously I have the kids, but like even if you don't, you have family. You know, like this is, this is it. You are impacting people's lives and that's your legacy. And so using writing for stress relief is important. Using writing to help get you to what you need to want to be and to your true, authentic self that's there. It's important, but that legacy element is so incredibly impactful.

Elizabeth: 39:07

Well, clearly you're a podcaster'cause you just effortly effortlessly summarized our entire episode and so I do not need to do that. Jenny did that for us in the most beautiful way. Jenny, thank you so much for being here. Um, listener. I hope you enjoyed this episode as much as I have. We'll have all of Jen's links in the episode description, including her podcast, which please go over and listen to my episode over there as well as plenty of others for inspiration and motivation and empowerment. Um, and again, Jenny, thank you for being here with us

Jenny Benitez: 39:40

Of course, it was my pleasure. Thank you for having me.

Elizabeth: 39:43

Always.

39:45

Thank you so much for tuning in to this episode of the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. We hope you found inspiration, valuable tips, and connection to yourself as a writer. Thank you for sharing this episode with your writing friends and leaving us a review. The power of storytelling lies within each of us, and by supporting one another, we can amplify our voices and craft narratives that resonate with our audience. We're not just about words on a page. We're passionate about the craft, the process in building a supportive community. Become a part of our community by connecting with us using the links in the show description or join our weekly email newsletter for updates and a dose of inspiration straight to your inbox.