Inspired Writer Collective Podcast

Episode 91: Understanding Memoir Structure to Tell Your Story

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Elizabeth Wilson & Stephanie Oswald discuss the challenges that come with condensing your lived experience into a narrative form. It’s most common to find if you’re starting to write your first memoir that you’ll begin by choosing a chronological approach to your story. There’s nothing wrong with making this decision, especially if it helps you get your words on the page, but just know you have other options

In this episode, Elizabeth leads our conversation about memoir structure with insight into four of the eight possibilities from Jennifer Selig’s book Deep Memoir and that you’d find yourself exploring if you decide to join our Memoir Master Plan Cohort when it launches again in April 2026. 

You’ll want to listen in to learn about the options you have for structuring your memoir to best fit the way you want to tell your story.

 Welcome to the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. If you've ever felt the pull to write your truth, to shape the chaos of real life into something meaningful and to share your journey with the world, you're in the right place. We're your hosts, Elizabeth and Stephanie, writers, coaches, and entrepreneurs who believe in you and know how important it is to find a writing community to guide you on your path to self-publishing.

You’re invited to connect with us by joining our Embodied Writing Experience where you’ll get a writer’s retreat directly to your inbox on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays each week. Whether you’re working on a memoir, a novel, or journaling for yourself, this is an invitation to slow down, tune in, and write with embodied intention.   


Join our Embodied Writing Experience where you’ll get a writer’s retreat directly to your inbox on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays each week. This is an invitation to slow down, tune in, and write with embodied intention.

Get on the waitlist for the Memoir Master Plan cohort here.

If you prefer to watch our conversations, you can find all of them on our YouTube channel.

You can find us on Instagram and Threads

Elizabeth:

Welcome back listeners. It's another episode of the Inspired Writer Collective podcast and we are your co-host, Elizabeth and Stephanie. Um, it's been, you know, a fun fall over here. I've just got done wrapping up what was the latest round of the memoir master plan cohort. Uh, this last round ran for six weeks, but. Based off of the feedback I'm getting from everyone that participated, I think the next round's gonna be expanded to eight weeks, which will be really fun to have that extra time to really dig into those plot points and character development pieces and all the stuff that, you know, we include within that program. Um, and now Stephanie, you and I are finally have time to get back to some of our, our writing through our weekly writing sessions.

Stephanie:

Yeah, it's been really nice, uh, to finally get back into the groove and I know I set a challenge for myself in September for a thousand words a day. And while it's not all words for my manuscript, it has gotten me back in the rhythm of writing every day, which I had of course, with life events. such had kind of fallen off that pattern. But um, I'm finding it is just bringing ideas back and it's nice that we get to have our writing sessions in the afternoons now that we're getting back into that rhythm, which is nice. And. And just having those touch points of, as we've talked about so often, the writing in community and having, knowing that there's someone on the other side of the screen, even when we have our screen blacked out, audio off, just knowing that you're there makes it so much easier to show up to write.

Elizabeth:

Yeah. Plus I just love knowing, like in my schedule for the week, like, okay, you know, Monday's a writing day and Thursday's a writing day this week. And you know, it ends up shifting depending on what kind of appointments we have or things. But you know, we've started to send out emails to those that are interested in joining us. This, we used to send it out, you know. Really broadly to our whole email list and, and that just didn't really seem functional when we had to cancel last minute or something. Um, but if there are some of you that are interested in joining us for that writing time, shoot us a message, send us an email so we can connect you, um, with those times. Basically, I send out the Zoom links at the beginning of the week. Then you just pop in for whichever one's worked for you. And it's usually a pretty consistent afternoon time. So if that time's not good for you, then that's okay. Um, you can catch our virtual writing retreats quarterly, otherwise, but that's just the time that we meet and we're happy to expand that to you guys, if that's something of interest to you. Um, today though, we wanna dig into a conversation about memoir structure. You know, memoir's really interesting in the sense that you're trying to condense. Real lived experiences into a narrative form, and that can be really challenging. Obviously, you know, most people tend to start with a classic linear narrative that's in chronological order. You pick your beginning part, you pick where it ends, where you've learned your lesson, where you've, you know, changed and maybe have a new belief about the world or yourself. And then everything in between is told chronologically, and there's not really any large gaps of time missing. And if there are gaps of time, it's sort of summarized in a brief paragraph to keep the reader kind of up to date on where you're at. Um, and it's all really rooted in sort of a chronological timeline and. That can be really difficult for some memoir topics. So this was something that I really dug into after reading Deep Memoir by Jennifer Sig. So if you are struggling with structure, I recommend that book as a starting point. Dad is the book that's been the foundation of the newest lesson that I've added to the memoir Master plan cohort, um, structure was, was a big part of our conversation in this latest round, and it was super impactful because the stories that these women were wanting to share and write, most of them did not belong in a linear structure that if the reader got really hung up on. On where the chron, the chronological timeline was, like, it would get confusing or it just wasn't the intention behind the writing. Um, and so they, they needed some structures that were not rooted in the chronological storytelling. And that can be really tricky because like Stephanie, you know, most of what we see most of, like our, the movies we watch, the books we read, they're told linearly. So that's. That's kind of our natural leaning.

Stephanie:

Well, and I think it's one of the places that, as you've talked in the past, and it's been a little while of where people have a confusion between memoir and autobiography or biography and they think it's the same thing. They think they have to fit everything in and smosh it all together and as you say that's not the purpose of memoir. And of course, listeners, you know we've talked about core message and when you find that core message that then leads you into. Figuring out, okay, well what's the structure that works around that core message? And I think that that was one of the pieces, especially in this go round of the cohort, was there that the women already had an idea of where they were going. And so it was more important to lean into structure a lot and figure out, okay, what's the best way to tell your story?

Elizabeth:

Oh, I'm so glad you said that. Yes. So I have like in that memoir structure lesson that the structure of the book is basically like the skeleton and landing on the right structure. The how to tell the story piece is almost as important as identifying the core message of what story to tell, right? They really go hand in hand, and there are eight different structures that I outline and teach within that program. Obviously, we don't have time within a single podcast to dig into all of those, but there are some really common ones I would say. Four of them are probably the most common ones, and that would be linear as we've just kind of talked about your standard chronological storytelling from point A to point Z. Um, there's also framed circular and thematic, and it's interesting because I, I had writers in this last group land in sort of each of those different categories. Framed is. Probably the closest to linear and one that I think really supports a lot of writers who would otherwise need to provide a lot of backstory. They wrote linearly and wait. Basically what the framed structure looks like is you have a main storyline and that is still told linearly like a, you know, point A to Z sequence of events. An example of this style of book is Wild by Cheryl Strait. So her, her main storyline is her hiking, the PCT. We start with her at the beginning of the hiking. We end with her at like the end point, the finish line. But within that storytelling. That framework, hence framed memoir structure. She. Falls back into other memories that help us understand the ways in which she felt lost in other times of her life, because that's her bigger theme is being lost. Um, and those are not told chronologically, you know, at some point we're going back to her childhood, at some point we're going back to her, her marriage or the boyfriend that she was sleeping with and doing drugs with. I mean, and, and none of that is chronological. The reader is not given any kind of like. Before or after to really root that in any sort of timeline. It's merely told in support of the broader message of feeling lost, whereas the story of being on the trail really holds all of that. So while there is still like a chronological element, those other pieces, um, are not chronological. And a, a greater part of the story is the frame story. When you're, when you're doing a frame memoir, you have to be mindful about your pacing. You have to be mindful about how long you go into some sort of backstory. And it all has to be really interesting and compelling to keep the reader moving forward. So you do have to be really mindful of that. Um, but it's a great way for someone who has a story. Where, you know, the, the event that they really want to talk about happens maybe more recently, but there's stuff in the more historical past that's important in order to explain how that present moment of the frame story is being impacted and the impact it's having on, on the author.

Stephanie:

Well, and I think in the example of wild, it's a very specific event that she, something that she's engaging in. You know, if anybody listening, if you. Have been a through hiker or you know, someone who enjoys that, you know, it, it does extend over a significant amount of time. a lot that happens. And so it, it definitely lends itself to that creating almost like a box around it. And then you can fill it in and it's natural. And it also is really natural for just the human experience that when we have an experience like that other thoughts come up for you. So it engages the reader because they're like, oh yeah, you know, if I'm out in nature and I'm doing this, it's gonna bring up things. Or if I'm having a certain experience, it's gonna trigger certain memories. And it does help, especially, if you're not sure how to structure what you're writing, provides that nice little container. Now I'm gonna put all the pieces in that were part of that experience.

Elizabeth:

Right. So for example, say you were writing. A memoir about your motherhood journey. Right. And so the, the frame story is taking place on you. Maybe your, um, attempts at becoming pregnant and what that looked like, and then pregnancy and then becoming a mother, and then the early motherhood journey as your kids grow up. But then maybe you have these flashbacks, this backstory that comes in as you experience these different things back to your own childhood, back to, you know, your college days, back to whatever that like helps. Aid are the reader's understanding of that primary story and your experience of it. And that's the thing you have to be mindful of is like the stories you kind of fall back into that are outside of the chronological storytelling, have to serve something in that main storyline, right? Like it's giving the reader some additional insight as to why you may. Be struggling in this moment or why you had a certain assumption of what this would look like based off of your previous experience, and it's all serving whatever bigger theme or core message that you are trying to portray throughout your memoir.

Stephanie:

Absolutely. I think it's really important to really make sure that they're relevant points that you're bringing up so that your reader doesn't get steered off in all different directions and that you can't be all over the place. I mean, there has to be a purpose for what you're bringing in.

Elizabeth:

Right. Another, another style, um, a structure style that's a little bit similar to framed in that there's sort of a, a main storyline and then a different storyline is the circular memoir. This is particularly helpful for writers who are writing about grief or trauma. Um, so the way that this is a little bit different is that. It, there's a different balance of the stories when you have a, a circular structure. So whereas in the frame structure, you're primarily in that main chronological story and only short little excerpts into, you know, past events. This is sort of flip flopped where some sort of past event is so big that it keeps coming back up in the way that you are. The central memory, you're working through it, you're worrying about it, you're rethinking it, you're turning it over and over revealing, you know, layer by layer of detail every time you revisit this moment. So this really helps portray to the reader sort of that natural fixation that we have on traumatic events. Something that Jennifer Selig says in her book about the structure, she says the circular structure makes a great deal of sense when writing about traumatic events. Particularly those that strike us, like sudden shocks that cleave our lives into, into before and after. It speaks to the repetitive nature of trauma with its tendency toward intrusive thoughts. So here, once again, as is so beautiful in memoir, the structure is mimicking. The message, right? Like there's something very big and traumatic. So we, we as the reader, are constantly revisiting this moment, this traumatic moment that the author has experienced just as you would if this was you. And you know, these thoughts just suddenly pop in and you're once again thrown back into, you know, some imagery of something you've previously experienced or some grief, the way that people describe grief and the way that it's. Pops up and surprises you.

Stephanie:

Mm-hmm.

Elizabeth:

what this structure does. Um, and this is a well known structure. All of these are archetypes of structure that have worked for a number of memoirs, not just, you know, a single one. That's why, um, these are compiled within Selig's book, deep memoir. Um, an example of this is Joan Didion's book, A year of Magical Thinking where her circular theme, the one that she keeps going back to is her husband's Sudden and Death. And so while there's other events that happen, um, and those are chronological, she is constantly being pulled back into these past memories and those memories. Are the bulk of the book as opposed to the chronological storytelling of, you know, the year, you know, following his death. So even though we start at a point that's like after his passing, we're constantly drawn back to this, this previous, you know, moments in the memories of him before he passed and, and all of that.

Stephanie:

Well, and I think that that's what makes memoir so great is one all these different structures we're talking about. But in a book like that, I know when my mom passed away, that was a book that was immediately recommended. To me to read and I can see why especially now being even further from the event. But at the time I wasn't sure that I wanted to dig into exploring grief at the time since I was living it so closely. I see now reflecting that it does, it reflects that what happens when you have that kind of trauma. Of just naturally you. Do you memories come up? Experiences. I mean, it's been over 10 years now and things still bring it back, and so what's helpful is just that. It's relatable from the human experience.

Elizabeth:

Exactly.

Stephanie:

that you're not alone, that other people are experiencing. And that's what's so beautiful about memoir. And for those of you listening, if you're working on a memoir and thinking that, you know, oh, other people have already experienced this, but no they haven't because they haven't experienced it like you have, they

Elizabeth:

Mm-hmm.

Stephanie:

your experience and you have your way of telling it. That will help. if it's just one person to start with and then you never know who else will be impacted. And that's what's beautiful. And as you say, with the circular piece where you keep coming back and touching upon what the central memory was, but then how it bleeds into other aspects of life.

Elizabeth:

Yeah, and I think this could be really helpful too, if someone's writing about something that is a really traumatic incident where they don't want to, they wanna be mindful of their reader and not totally give all the details in one very concentrated way that could be really traumatic to the reader and overwhelming. You know, this would be a really nice way to. Unfold something that's big and messy and ugly in a way that the reader can digest more slowly because you're only getting like a layer at a time with each, you know, revisit back to that traumatic moment or that moment of grief, or, or,

Stephanie:

Well, and as we know with, with traumatic experiences too, sometimes all of the experience doesn't keep

Elizabeth:

yeah.

Stephanie:

to you. You know it. If it's something that you remember, you'll remember pieces of it. And so it's the same way in in writing your memoir in that way is that, you know, we. One, like you said, we don't wanna bombard the reader with the experience because that's can be a lot, but the natural way that memories can come back to us.

Elizabeth:

Exactly. In some ways it feels a little bit more true to the way it was lived, right? And in the sense that maybe you didn't remember all of it at this point, but then something else happened and then you remembered a little bit more, and then something else happened and you remembered a little bit more. It's just more true to the experience when you can tell it this way with this circular structure as opposed to trying to, you know, dissect all the pieces, put'em in chronological order and tell the story linearly.

Stephanie:

Yeah, exactly.

Elizabeth:

And, and some stories don't. Really belong in any sort of chronological order at all. You know, we've talked through now three different structures that at least have some essence of a chronological storytelling, whether it's the major story, the minor story, um, but there's also thematic memoirs and there are a large number of thematic memoirs. Most of what, um, like if you look at Glennon, Doyle's Untamed, that's a thematic memoir where it's not told. Chronologically, she has broken her stories and experiences down into themes. So she starts with cages and then keys, and then I don't remember all the different names of them. Um, but she, she has these different themes and within them, she has these vignettes or, or short stories or, or moments. And we, as the reader, are not meant to get stuck on how this falls in a particular timeline of her life. The beautiful thing about removing the chronological storytelling is that you are forcing the reader to then focus on your theme, your core message, um, and, and when you've broken your book up into the those themes, then you are drawing their tension more acutely to how this particular story relates to that. To that theme, um, there's a book that I haven't read, but it's outlined in Deep Memoir. It's by Maggie O'Farrell and it's called I Am, I Am I Am 17 Brushes with Death. And in her book she tells about these 16 different, um. Uh, incidents of where she's had damage to body parts, infections, whatever, whole body things where, you know, her life's at risk and those are told non chronologically. So we're not, we as a reader are not locked into what order these things are happening. It, she doesn't want us hung up on that. It doesn't matter because the last chapter. Is about her daughter and her daughter's battle with severe allergies and immune system disorder, chronic eczema that causes her to scratch her skin off. And so it's only in that final chapter that the reader gets to really appreciate that this is actually a bigger story about a mother who has had to experience all these different things for herself and now has to hold space for her daughter. To experience it and the wisdom that she brings to that because of all of her previous 16 experiences. Um, and, you know, if, if it were told linearly, it wouldn't have that same. Impact, right? Um, just like Glennon Doyle's stories where she groups them with the ways that she felt caged, right? Those weren't just childhood things. They were, there were stories from adulthood there too. And then the keys, the ways that, that she learned different things and started advocating for herself and unlocking things. It, it really helps the reader to focus on, you know, that bigger message that you, as the writer are trying to share. If you break your story up into these themes that that's appropriate for the message you're trying to share and, and not focus on. You know that's, this is a great option where like the backstory would be really messy or like providing the context around each of these moments would be cumbersome because they cover a much larger. Timeframe, like example in Glennon's book. I mean, it's essentially covering her whole life, you know? And, but it's just little snippets. And so in order to not have to fill in all the blanks of this timeline and this timeline and this timeline, it's told thematically all around this concept of untamed.

Stephanie:

Well, and it makes it really digestible for the reader, uh, know, with a themed memoir, because then you're not, you know, having to remember all these different aspects of a person's life, but you're really able to, as the reader, bring yourself to the memoir more readily because. You're connecting automatically to like, oh yeah, you know, I felt caged at this point in my

Elizabeth:

Hmm.

Stephanie:

oh, those are experiences. Oh, I can connect that to myself because of course, there's always a selfish piece for readers coming to. Pick up a book, especially with a memoir. Um, one is, you know, in the case of Glennon Doyle is there's the curiosity already because she's a well-known person. But even if you're not so well-known, if you're using the thematic approach and putting it into shorter stories, that might also for you as a writer, be a way that it's. for you to show up and tell your

Elizabeth:

Mm-hmm.

Stephanie:

you're not, you're not feeling like you have to give all of the details that you can share these little pieces of your life. You don't have to put everything about yourself on the page, but that you're still able to connect with your reader.

Elizabeth:

Yeah. And, and another kind of subcategory of this, which is a little bit different, is the memoir and essay, and it's basically a combination of disconnected short stories. So think of like back in the day when we were eating chicken soup for the. Blank insert, you know, theme, right? And, and so it's like where the theme is across the entire book as opposed to like what I just described with Glennon Doyle's Untamed, where she has multiple themes within the book. Or like, eat, pray, love, where you know, Liz Gilbert has those themes. Um. This is where the theme goes across the entire book, but it's, it's told in disjointed, unconnected, non chronological short essay. And that's the memoir and essay structure. So there's so many different options and that's, that's what I hope the, that you are getting from this episode listener, is just that freedom, you know, kind of like shake your shoulders off, like you don't have to stick to a linear structure. And there are a lot of memoirs that are. Better served by choosing a different structure. Now, I only went over four of those today. Um, but there are eight different ones that are outlined within, uh, deep Memoir by Jennifer Seig. So check that out. If you don't think one of these really resonated, but you get the inclination that linear is not for you. Um, it, it, I just want people to like. Understand that there's so much freedom in how you can write your memoir. And also these are tried and true structures. Like this isn't like, you know, some off the wall, you know, thing like these, these have been replicated over and over again. These are structures that a reader will be familiar with. Um, and so these are all wonderful things to consider. And like you said, Stephanie, at the beginning, like it's, it's. Equally as important to land on the appropriate structure for your memoir as it is to come to terms with what your core message is and what stories you wanna tell that are associated with that. So, you know, it may be helpful, actually, listener, to start with just a timeline of what stories you know you want to include and where they fall in a timeline. And if it's a really condensed timeline. Yeah, maybe linear or framed is a good place to start. You know, if it's not super condensed, then maybe something like circular or thematic is the, is the better approach. Um, so maybe looking at a timeline would help help you gain some clarity around which direction to go, or even just what to try. There's no harm in outlining for two different structures and see which one really, you know, feels like it gets the message across most clearly or supports your theme. Um, the best.

Stephanie:

Well and listener, if you're not really sure and you get started, there is going to be another round of the memoir Master plan cohort opening up again in the spring, and so you'll definitely wanna get on our Embodied Writing experience list so that you don't miss the opportunity to be invited to be a part of that cohort. The spots are limited for a purpose and the. Offers go out to our list before we open it up more broadly. So if you want some support and you wanna learn from Elizabeth and get her guidance, which is just absolutely so worth it. Uh. Then I highly recommend that you get on our list so that you don't miss those opportunities and any other pieces that pop up There's so much happening here we really would love to invite you to connect.

Elizabeth:

Yeah. Thank you listener. We've got one more month of episodes coming your way, um, throughout November, and then we will be taking our seasonal break as we have gifted ourselves that we do twice a year in December and in June. So. Uh, hop on that email list. Keep up to date on what we're doing behind the scenes, and happy listening. I.

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Elizabeth Wilson

Host
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Stephanie Oswald, Ph.D.

Host