Episode 105: Do It Scared

Episode 105: Do It Scared

You’ll thank yourself later.

It’s Stephanie here, and this message is one that I’ve needed to hear for sure!

I wrestle so often with my own fears of showing up and allowing myself to be vulnerable with my writing process, or even just being myself. At the end of the day, there’s nothing better than being yourself and finding the people who love all the parts of you. It’s what writing does and especially the community we’ve built here with the podcast. 

Just check out the incredible panelists we’ve brought together for our Memoir Summit here.

There’s so much power in taking the scary step to move yourself forward. 

James Clear in his book Atomic Habits talks about doing something just 1% better each day. When it’s put that way it doesn’t sound so scary. It’s hitting send on the email you’ve been meaning to send to the book coach you know will help you finish your manuscript. It’s posting on social media about what you’re working on or something you’ve thought about that can help others. Whatever it is, it’s one simple step. This is what I have to keep reminding myself of and also remembering how I feel when I hit send on that email or post to social media. 

On this week’s podcast, Elizabeth and I talk about the importance of “doing it scared.” There will be so many moments along the way when you’ll want to hesitate. You’ll doubt yourself. These feelings are SO normal. You’re not alone. We need these reminders as much as you do, and it’s why we show up to share what’s real about being a writer on our podcast. 

Your brain will love the hit of dopamine you get when you decide to take that step you’re scared to take. You never know who you’ll meet. 

What’s the worst thing that could happen? 

Sometimes we have to remind our brains that it’s okay. You have a story following you around that’s meant to be told. It’s what I heard from Reese Witherspoon on her recent book tour for Gone Before Goodbye with Harlan Coben. She had an idea, she’d never written a book (even though she’s done so many other amazing things), and she knew it needed to be in the hands of readers. 

What did she do?

She “did it scared.” She connected with people who knew how to help her, and yes, she has amazing connections, but you can too when you start finding your way. Our podcast is here for you to connect with us, but

 Welcome to the Inspired Writer Collective podcast. If you've ever felt the pull to write your truth, to shape the chaos of real life into something meaningful and to share your journey with the world, you're in the right place. We're your hosts, Elizabeth and Stephanie, writers, coaches, and entrepreneurs who believe in you and know how important it is to find a writing community to guide you on your path to self-publishing.

Stay until the end of the episode to learn about our Virtual Memoir Summit on March 14, 2026. 

Join our Embodied Writing Experience where you’ll get a writer’s retreat directly to your inbox on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays each week. This is an invitation to slow down, tune in, and write with embodied intention.

Get on the waitlist for the Memoir Master Plan cohort here.

Apply to join the Finish Your First Draft in 90 Days program here.

If you prefer to watch our conversations, you can find all of them on our YouTube channel.

You can find us on Instagram and Threads

Transcript

Elizabeth Wilson 1:15

Hey guys. It's another episode of The Inspired Writer Collective. Now, if you've been listening for a while, we know, you know, we open the show by usually saying, Hey listeners, welcome back. But you know what? It's a new, uh, year as far as the Chinese calendar is concerned. And so we are revamping different things here. And one of those things that we are going to be refreshing is referring to you guys as writers because that is what you are. And even if that term feels like it's not integrated into your identity just yet, we hope that by. Calling you a writer and referring to you as a writer, that you will start to integrate that into your sense of who you are, because if you're showing up and listening to this podcast. You are a writer. You have a strong interest in this. This, the topics we cover here are not just for everyone, right? They are for people who are interested and fascinated by the way that you capture ideas and concepts and. Story onto the page. So whether you are just, uh, an a, sometimes journaler or someone who has just some scribbled notes about a potential outline on some piece of paper in your desk, you are still a writer. And as we move into this next iteration of the podcast, we are going to be referring to you as a writer. So. Welcome writers to another episode of the Inspired Writer Collective podcast, and today we are going to be talking about all the ways in which as a writer, going from idea to published book in your reader's hand. You have to do it scared and you have to keep showing up. So today we're gonna talk about some of those actual ways that both Stephanie and I have had to do that. The ways in which it's been highly productive for us to do that and get past our own. Fears or self critiques in order to put ourselves out there. But the resulting impact it has on us as developing as authors and writers and the impact it has on our future books. So Stephanie, um, when is a time that comes to mind that you can think of where you had to do something scary for your writing or for yourself as a writer?

Stephanie Oswald 3:49

Well, I definitely think the first time I decided to jump into the local critique group, um, and share 10 pages of my writing and get some feedback on it from our local critique group, there are, published authors and people at various stages, and so it, it felt intimidating because even when we've gone to events for them, it's always thinking like, oh, well they're published. They have it all figured out. I don't quite have it figured out. And so was a time where. I thought, oh, this is really scary, because I've never really liked to share my writing very much. And I mean, I've certainly, you know, published things, but even so, there's always still that like pit in the stomach feeling when you know your words and your ideas are out there. since fiction is a new adventure for me, it was even scarier because I thought, well, I don't. You know, have any training in writing fiction other than the fact that I read a lot of fiction, which of course we all know directly connects, but when you're just starting out, you feel like, oh, there's no way I can at that level or write to the level of, you know, the authors that I admire. And so that was definitely scary. And what I learned in the process is that. It really wasn't that scary, you know, like once I did it showed up and participated in the conversations and got the feedback, then I was like, like I could breathe again. I was like, oh, okay. This isn't that scary. And, and I too, in that process, read other people's work and gave feedback and there was a specific process for that it was really affirming and. It also told me too that, know, my writing's not for everyone. And that's another thing in this process is that it can feel really scary because you wanna think like, oh, I want everyone to like this, and really. It's that same principle as we know, like in the business world, like if you try to reach everyone, you reach no one. So you really wanna think about like who are, who is your audience? And it's okay if you're in a critique group and not everybody resonates with what you write because it's not gonna be for everyone. But also eventually leads you to finding those spaces and places where you're with the people who your work resonates with. And I know you've found that as you've gone through your own process too.

Elizabeth Wilson 6:22

Well, and, and I think that's one of the first scary hurdles that most writers have to overcome is the sharing of their work with someone. Whether they're working with like an alpha reader or a friend who's gonna read a couple of pages, or they're facing that for the first time when they send their manuscript off for like a developmental edit. I, I remember that same sort of fear in our library writing group that used to be in existence, but no longer is. Um, and we would have prompts at the beginning of some of our meetings and it would be like a single word prompt, and then we'd all just free write a couple of pages. Zero time to edit, zero time to put, you know, any sort of, of your own critique in your writing. It's literally you're reading a rough draft to the room. But I decided to share, um, a story that I had written from the prompt, word of gifted and. In sharing that story with the room, I got to see reflected back to me the strength of the emotionality of the piece that I was writing. And it was something, I mean, this was early on in my memoir writing process, so it was really helpful for me to get that quick and immediate feedback that even if my words weren't eloquent or my grammar wasn't great. I, or I was writing in a more of a, like a passive voice. That's okay, because what really shined through in that moment and what I took away from it. Was the high level of emotionality that I put into my writing and how deeply others resonate with that, because I could see, as I was reading my words and my voice was shaking a little bit, you know, I could see the, the eyes in the room sort of glaze over as everyone went to their own historical place of feeling some of those same feelings that I was expressing in that short piece, in that piece. Has since gone on to be published in an online literary magazine. So the confidence that I gained from sharing that story and, and seeing the, that reflection that, yes, there's something really beautiful here in the emotionality of this piece and the relatability. That's what pushed me then to even submit my work for consideration into an online literary magazine. So I, I think it's so important to do it even way earlier than you think you're ready for, you know, like not waiting until you're sending off your whole manuscript to like a developmental edit, but, but finding those spaces where you can submit a couple pages or. Or just do a reading. If there's like, um, an open, you know, author or artist space where you can, you know, share something, you know, I just think there's so much benefit to that really early feedback, even though it's so scary and it feels like there's no way that you're ready to share at that point.

Stephanie Oswald 9:27

Well, and I think it also speaks to the power of taking time to read your own work aloud gain that comfort in hearing your voice and your words coming out even. Even if you're sitting at your desk by yourself initially. And. You know, trying that out. Um, but it also speaks to what we've been talking to more recently about, you know, putting yourself in the rooms with the people who going to support you. And it's not that you wanna have. Everybody, you know, stroking your ego and telling you you're

Elizabeth Wilson 10:05

Hmm.

Stephanie Oswald 10:06

because the reality of the business is that you're going to encounter people who are, you know, going to have the red pen and send you back a manuscript that's edited, you know, in that style. I've certainly heard authors talk about that, about the scary piece of getting their manuscript back and you know, these are. You know, published authors that I've seen sharing in, you know, bookstores, on their book tours and so forth, it's. Getting comfortable with that space of your work, because I think that that's the scariest piece, and especially as we've talked about with memoir, where it's so deeply personal it's your experience and your lived experience that you're putting out there, it adds a whole other layer of wanting to put up that wall of. To block yourself from what's gonna come back. But I think what I've seen is we've talked to memoir writers across this podcast and watching your process that it actually you up to the possibility for how your story can impact and change somebody else's life.

Elizabeth Wilson 11:25

Well, and that's just it. Stephanie, so many of us go from that place of wanting to write something because it's a story that we have floating around in our head, whether fiction or memoir. And at some point as a writer, you cross that threshold into believing that. This story could have a real impact on someone else's life, on their perspectives, on the way they see their world. And because of that, I want to share it and I wanna share it as widely as I possibly can. Whether that you're writing, you know, ya, and you want some young girls to recognize the strength of their own voice. Or you're writing memoir and hoping that those who are. Are going through or have been through similar struggles to you also can see the light at the end of the tunnel and know that it's not the, the end of everything. Um, but the beginning of something new and beautiful and. As you make that transition and you decide to share it, that's the thing is like, it's just always gonna be scary to share it. Like that's whether you're at the beginning and we're talking and encouraging you to share it within a critique group or a small group of, of your local writers. Or whether you're sitting there at your table in front of Barnes and Noble trying to hawk your wares and sell your book to, you know, strangers, or you're reading a passage as part of a, you know, a book tour. Like, you're always going to have to do this. So there's a, a level of going ahead and exposing yourself to the feelings, the nervousness, and the fears, and doing it anyways. Even despite that fear, because that's the process and that's why so many people get stuck somewhere along the way. Either they don't finish. Their draft or they finish their draft but never send it off for editing. Or maybe they do all of that and they publish it, but they're scared to really promote it in any sort of effective way. They're just hoping that people will find it because they have some fears about talking about it themselves, and it doesn't really. Get easier. I mean, I think it becomes like there's new levels of being scared and doing it anyways and, and continuing to show up for your story for yourself, for your book, and it, it's simply, you just need to build that, that muscle memory. That, that mental understanding that it's gonna feel scary, but it's also going to be okay. Um, I did something really scary this week for my book and I wanna share that here in the podcast. So I have been posting to threads as part of my. You know, just general author presence, you know, connecting with other authors. We've talked often on this podcast about how vibrant the writer community is on threads, and that's been a really fun, safe, helpful place to like get advice to seek resources and just to see what kind of questions everyone's asking so that we can hopefully answer some of those here on these podcast episodes. And maybe two weeks ago, Jennifer Sig of the Author of Deep Memoir, which I've talked about so many times on this podcast. I love this book. Um, it's a memoir writing craft book, and it came to me, I found this at a point where I was doing my previous round of edits and it revolutionized some of my writing, especially in her. Analysis of the takeaways at the end of a chapter. And it was something, the takeaways were something that my developmental editor even emphasized as something that was so beautiful and so engaging about the ends of each of my chapters in, in the manuscript that she edited for me. So recently, Jennifer Selig commented on one of my posts, and I don't even remember exactly what I was posting about, but it wasn't. You know about her book or even about the memoir, master plan cohort, which I used the book for. It was something else kind of related to writing and memoir, but not specifically related to her. And she commented and I totally fangirled out. I was like, oh my gosh, there's no way you are commenting on my threads. Your book came to me at such a pivotal time. I love it. I use it in my coaching program and. And so I just, I just commented back and then I didn't really see or hear anything from her for a while. And then I guess it must have been like Thursday. Um, and all of a sudden I get like, she likes a couple more of my posts. Uh, she comments on a, another one where I'm asking about how to formulate the author blurb for a memoir. And she gave some really great advice there and. Then she commented on, on my response about being so excited about her, and she was so pleased to hear that, so thankful to hear that. And then offered her support and said, let me know how I can support you, and if you want me to hop in on a Zoom call with your, you know, coaching program, I'm happy to do so. And I was just like. So amazed, right? Like this, this is someone whose work I really, um, appreciate and respect and for her to offer her support to me was just unreal. And then. Later this was, and then on Friday I met with Hannah, who was our, our guest on last week's podcast. I have since hired her as my author coach to help me navigate this process of getting my book published. And I mentioned the interaction to her and I told her that I was kind of toying with the idea of maybe asking, um, Jennifer Sella if she would be an a reader. And provide a review quote that I could put on the cover of the book. Right? I see this all the time, especially with memoir and especially with first time authors where they add a little bit of kind of publishing credibility by having a quote somewhere around like the top of the front cover from someone who's, you know, you're borrowing a little bit of like clout and expertise from someone who's a little bit more known within that genre. In order to say, yes, this is someone whose work should be valued within this space, right? And it's something that they do a lot in traditional publishing, but I haven't seen a lot of that in like, the self-publishing space. So I mentioned it to Hannah and she was like, absolutely, you absolutely should ask her. And she's going to say, yes, guys. I was so scared. I was so scared. Um, but I, I rationalize it. Like there was no harm in asking. She could still tell me no. She had basically offered up, you know, support. Equivalent to maybe 30 minutes of her time. And here I was gonna counter with a request for, you know, more like seven to 10 hours of her time to read the book and, and write a review that I could use on the cover. And so I, I was so scared, but I sent the message to her and, and then later the next morning I woke up and there was a notification on my phone that she had responded and she said, I would love to exclamation mark. I literally, I, I don't know how to express the feelings like I was. I, I was really not confident that she was going to say yes, even though Hannah was super confident that she was gonna say yes, I was afraid either she would flat out say no, or she would ask for more information about like the subject matter of the book, which maybe she would ask for my book blurb, which I don't have ready yet, and I was kind of like already nervous about that. Like, oh, I'll have to throw something together for her to tell her about the book and, no, no, she said yes and. Now that's going to add so much more credence to my book. I'll be able to use that as I go to these indie bookstores and ask them to stock my book on their, their shelves. They will recognize that name even though they don't recognize my name. And so there are so many big leaps that you can make with your book when you're willing to ask for things or put yourself in spaces even though you're scared. So I hope that that serves as, you know, some motivation and an example of the leaps and bounds you can make if you're willing to do that. And it makes me actually think, Stephanie, of that time that you were at Reese Withers spoons, um, signing an author talk, um, well,

Stephanie Oswald 20:37

Well,

Elizabeth Wilson 20:37

well, yeah, and well, exactly, because that was when I wore our podcast.

Stephanie Oswald 20:43

t-shirt and I

Elizabeth Wilson 20:44

And I was

Stephanie Oswald 20:44

just so

Elizabeth Wilson 20:46

so nervous because

Stephanie Oswald 20:47

of

Elizabeth Wilson 20:48

of course, you know, when you're meeting a celebrity and then she was with Harlan Kobin, who of course, if you're a thriller reader, is

Stephanie Oswald 20:57

a

Elizabeth Wilson 20:58

a celebrity writer in that realm.

Stephanie Oswald 21:01

and. When I

Elizabeth Wilson 21:03

when I was approaching the front, I was thinking, you know, what do I say?'cause you only have, you know, a short moment to interact.

Stephanie Oswald 21:12

it

Elizabeth Wilson 21:13

It was at that moment where

Stephanie Oswald 21:15

I

Elizabeth Wilson 21:16

I stepped up and then, you know, she looked at the shirt she made, you know, she read the name of it and I said.

Stephanie Oswald 21:23

And just even that momentary moment of you know, myself in that position of being like, well, yeah, of course I'm going to, you know, show off about the podcast. And. You know, own the writer I identity as we're talking about here. And the other piece that it made me think about so much too was thinking about going to conferences and about yourself in those spaces of face-to-face connection with others. I mean, that's essentially what we're talking about here. I mean, you were on thread. It's face-to-face, virtually, you know, Reese Witherspoon face-to-face in real life. Totally fangirling, you know, incredible experience. Listening to her talk to the, from the perspective of being a writer, which is so unique because as we all know, you know, she's famous actress, she's done all these incredible things, but she'd never written a book

Elizabeth Wilson 22:25

Mm-hmm.

Stephanie Oswald 22:26

again. She was doing it scared. She didn't know what she was doing. She was like, how do I do this? And so when you hear people who are in these positions where you're, you know, looking up to them in some capacity that they, um. I'm sorry, Jeff just is interrupting.

Elizabeth Wilson 22:50

It's okay.

Stephanie Oswald 22:51

I'm gonna, we're gonna have to edit this outta the podcast. Can you please not interrupt right now? I just totally lost my train of thought. Okay. I'm gonna have to edit this out. But anyways, sorry about that. This

Elizabeth Wilson 23:02

You're good.

Stephanie Oswald 23:02

when I've been gone for a few days. Um, so anyways, so when you are looking at somebody like Reese Witherspoon and you're thinking. Oh, it has to be easy for her to write a book. No, it really wasn't easy. But she, you know, had a story that was following her around. And writers, if you're listening, if you have that same feeling, is your time, this is your moment. If a story won't leave you alone, if an idea won't leave you alone. Start writing it, start finding the spaces, and I think so much as I'm saying about conferences, because that's where you can make connections with other writers, or you can go to sessions where you're listening to writers talking about their experience. to your local bookstore book, signings of favorite writers that are there because. When you're the writer in the room, you're approaching it as a different perspective than just being a reader. You're listening to what their story is, you're listening to what sharing, and all of a sudden you think, well, yeah, I can do this. Like if, if can do it, I can do it. And there is so much mindset around it there is all of that piece of doing it scared, and, and I face that just about every day because. As many of you know, if you've been listening, I have a love-hate relationship with social media, and I have to remind myself like, you can show up. Like it's okay to be about your work. And I've been thinking about it too, like with with email, like if you're thinking about having an email list, like. Yes. If people are on your email list, they want to hear from you. Don't think you're bothering them or getting in their space if they're wanting to hear from you. Keep showing up and, and as Elizabeth mentioned, you know, our guest last week, Hannah, that was one of her big takeaways at the end was to keep showing up because the writers who keep taking the next step. And is it scary? Oh my gosh, yes. you gonna face rejection? Most likely. But guess what? You're a writer. Every writer has their rejection wall letter story or their, you know, now it's probably like your email inbox of rejection, whatever it is. But what I learned from going to a traditional authors weekend recently for romance writers is. When you show up in those rooms, start to open. Because now when I'm ready to query my novel, I have agents that I can reach out to and say, I was in this session at this conference at this time, and all of them said, if you put it in the subject line, there you go. You know, I will look at your work. I will, you know. Pushed you to the top of the, the pile and does it guarantee that they're gonna be my agent? No, but it's still, you know, taking that first step, any first step, it's scary. And you know, even if you've been, you know, watching the Olympics recently, if you've been following any of the athletes, they're doing it scared even when they've been on the metal stand hundreds of times.

Elizabeth Wilson 26:38

Absolutely. You know, I'm so glad you brought up that rejection piece.'cause that was a part of what played into my willingness and to, to reach out and make this big ask, is I have seen. A couple of, you know, people, influencers, whatever on Instagram, talking about how in, in the writing world, talking about how they're trying to rack up rejections, right? Like they're pursuing the rejections and what they are continuously are surprised to find is that they actually get. A decent number of yeses as they are pursuing these rejections. So it's, it's that whole philosophy of, you know, if it, if you know it's gonna take 40 failures to get to your win, how quickly do you wanna go through those 40 failures? Like, you might as well just go ahead and get those out of the way. Um, and the other piece too is how essential it was in that moment. For me to have Hannah as a resource for me to tell her about it and ask her my question of, should I ask, should I do this? And knowing that she has experience within this realm in helping authors publish their books, she runs in indie press and. So a lot of this, like I would not have done it on my own, to be honest guys. I would, I think I would've psyched myself out. I don't think I would've gone through with it, but because I had her to ask that question at that key moment where I needed to ask the question and get an answer that I trusted. That's what led me to braving that fear anyways and going ahead and making that ask. And that's exactly the structure and the motivation that we've put behind our upcoming memoir Summit because we have. Stacked these panels full of guests with experience in their own memoir, writing and publishing. So even if you write fiction, sure, some of the topics may not be directly relevant, but we're gonna be talking about marketing. We're gonna be talking about. You know, the pre publishing steps of beta readers and, and editing your content. So there's stuff that's just universally beneficial. But the biggest benefit of this memoir Summit is the fact that you get to ask your questions, writers, you get to ask whatever it is that you are currently. Whatever's currently holding you back or keeping you stuck, you can get advice from these experts that is tailored to you. So it's not like you're going on threads and asking a question, and honestly, some of the advice is not that great. You know, these are experienced people who are giving you their expert opinion, and this is one of those rooms that Stephanie and I believe that you as a writer should be putting yourself in. Especially for only$5 guys, like we could not make this any more economically beneficial to you as a writer. The fact that you can show up for just one session or all five sessions throughout the day on March 14th, whatever works for you. We do offer replays if you are worried about missing something or you want to make sure you can re-watch something. But the biggest thing, especially with attending live, is the ability to ask your questions and get some answers. And again, it may be scary to ask, but we encourage you to do that anyways.

Stephanie Oswald 30:00

Well, and the key about showing up to ask your questions is that you are showing up to invest in yourself and. You can make it about you. You are the writer you want to learn, and what better way to learn than with an already curated group of individuals that have been on our podcast, and you can go back and listen to previous episodes. It's. on our website inspired writer collective.com where you can find all the information about this, you can find the schedule for the day, it's just an incredible opportunity to, again, in your professional development as a writer. It's professional development and. You need it as much as anybody in any other career path needs it. And I think that that's one of the misconceptions is this idea that somehow, we all went to school and learned how to write that magically, if you wanna become a writer, it's like some, you know, magic potion and okay, the people who are writers and I'm not. But really, if you can write. You're a writer regardless of what it is that you're writing. And so, you know, we have the memoir Summit, and just like Elizabeth mentioned with having Hannah as her author, coach, investing in yourself in those ways too, because. When you try to figure it out all by yourself, that's where the roadblocks and the fear really starts to get in the way. when you know you have people in your space and in your corner who understand the industry, who know what you're going through. It's so much more powerful for how quickly you can move forward, and that's again, the memoir. Summit is an incredible space to connect with some really amazing individuals who can offer you so much for your writing career and. Again, even if you're not writing memoir, there's always something you can learn from taking information from other I know I've certainly taken a lot away from, you know, following Elizabeth's work with the memoir master plan cohort and woven it into my fiction practice. And so that's the key too, is being opening open yourself to learning and. That will calm some of your nerves to realize that everybody is learning along the way.

Elizabeth Wilson 32:46

Yeah, that's beautiful. And, and while we may, you know, hopefully all adopt the identity as writers. We are not all book cover designers. We are not all formatters. We are not all editors. We are not all marketers. And so this is a space where you can meet people who do have that as a part of their identity, who do have that knowledge and are happy to share it with you, whether that's you're just taking the tidbits that you need and you're applying them for yourself, or it's a great way to figure out that next person, coach, whoever, that you may need to work with in order to get you through that next step. But as we close out this episode today, I want you to think about what it is that you're scared to do that you know you need to do next for your writing, and then write down for yourself what is the first action you need to take in order to. Face that fear and do it anyways. What do you need? Do you need a certain book from the library? Do you need to buy your ticket for the memoir summit? Do you need to reach out to a writing friend and offer to trade pages? Whatever that looks like. I encourage you to. At a minimum, write down on a Post-It Note what you need to do next, because that's gonna sit there and that's gonna remind you. And at some point I encourage you to move through that fear. Do it scared, and take that step for your writing because you deserve it and your story deserves it.